His Healing Touch
by KareBear1965
Summary: Jasper needs to get married and have an child to keep his inheritance. He takes in a young girl who has been to hell and back. Is she the one he's been waiting for.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: WARNING this story will describe graphical sexual abuse. This story is fiction, but parts of it is true as it's the life I lived. I will say that unlike the Bella in this story, I didn't have a teenage pregnancy, but I dreamed it as one of the many ways of escaping my life. Bella will have the HEA that I never got.**

**Jasper's POV**

I hate it when my lawyer reminds me how short time is getting; it's down to a year. If I want to keep my inheritance, I need to be married and have an heir. I don't want to lose it, but I won't marry unless it's for love.

I've not found the one yet. I can't let myself settle for just anyone. It has to be the one that is meant for me.

I've dated hundreds of ladies looking for the one. Most only want me for my name, 'Whitlock'. I was the sole heir to a multi-billion-dollar company. All the way through high school and college, I was a player. I graduated college with an MBA in business, so I could take over the company once my dad was ready to hand it over to me.

It wasn't until mom and dad were gone that I knew the truth about everything. They were two of the many Americans lost in the Tsunami that hit Indonesia in 2004. They were off on a vacation when it hit. It was the first time my dad had left me with the responsibility of the company.

When I got the word that their bodies had been found, I cried. My parents Peter and Charlotte Whitlock were two of the most loving people I've ever known.

After we buried them, Garrett Michaels our long-time family friend and lawyer read me my parents' wills. I ended up punching a hole in the wall when he read the stipulations of me getting not only the company, but also the billions my parents had saved.

"Jasper, calm down. You're twenty-five now that means you have four years to get married and have your heir. I'm sorry I always thought your parents had informed you of this. If there is anything, I could do to change it, you know I would. However, I can't change what they have put in their wills. If you don't marry and have a child by your thirtieth birthday, then everything goes to charities. That means the company would be sold to the highest bidder. Four years a lot can change."

"It's five years until I'm thirty not four," I yelled back.

"Yes, but you have to an heir before you turn thirty. You are going to have to be married before hand," he replied.

That day was worse than getting the news about my parents. How could they do this to me and not tell me? Garrett said that I was like six or seven when my parents had that put into their wills. They've made little changes over time, but always left that stipulation in.

Now here I was twenty-nine and still haven't found the one I want to marry. Maybe I should just do an arranged marriage to get this over with. There is nothing in the wills that says I can't get a divorce.

I decided to drive to the little restaurant that I secretly own. I used my own money to buy the place when it was going under a few years ago. Only the manager knows that I'm the owner. I made my way to my booth in the back.

There sitting in my booth was a young teenager, who was dirty and looked scared and lost. Why the hell would she be sitting in my booth? This was my booth and every worker in the place knows that I'm the only one that can sit here.

"Young lady, you're sitting in my booth, leave," I yelled out of frustration.

"I'm sorry," she stammered and turned to slide out.

I noticed she blanched at my tone and regretted my tone and words immediately.

As I sat down across from her, I put my hand out to stop her from leaving. "Sorry for my harsh words, please stay." She flinched from my touch, but slid back in the booth.

"Do you want anything to eat?" I asked, as I saw the waitress walk toward the booth.

"Yes, please," she responded.

I let her order first, and she just ordered a cup of soup and milk. I ordered my usual steak, baked potato, with a green salad.

We sat there not saying anything. She looked so lost. Part of me didn't care what or why she was lost, but part of me wanted to reach out and help her. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I was being drawn to her.

Our food came and we just ate still not saying anything. After paying, I asked her, "Do you have a place to stay?"

"No," was her one-word answer.

"Come home with me, I'll give you a warm bed to sleep in," I somewhat ordered her, only to see her blanch again.

I just stared at her trying to figure out what was going through her head. I watched as she shifted in her seat letting her sweater slide off her shoulder. I could see bruises. What had this young lady been through?

"Not my bed Darlin', but in one of my guest rooms," I reassured her, hoping this will relieve some of the tension, which seemed to fill the air.

"Ok," she whispered softly.

I stood up and waited for her. Once she was standing, I started walking towards the door. I could feel her walking just a few steps behind me. Once we got outside and to my car, I unlocked the doors opening the passenger door, waiting for her to climb in.

She just stood there looking frightened. Leaving the door opened, I walked around the car and got in. A few moments later, she was still just standing there. "Darlin' I'm not going to hurt you."

I kept telling myself not to get upset with her and let her do this in her own time. I sat there for what felt like forever when I knew it was just a few minutes, before she slowly got into the car. She stayed as close to the door as possible.

This wasn't going to be easy. I wanted to help her. I have this need to help her.

I drove home just hoping that she would stop being scared of me and maybe open up a bit so I can truly help her.

I pulled in to the driveway not even going into the garage, got out and walked to the front door. I went into the living room after leaving the front door open hoping she was following me in. I didn't feel following behind me like I had at the restaurant.

I poured myself a glass of bourbon and sat on the couch. I'd just taken a sip when I heard what sounded like someone puking. I sat my glass down and darted towards the front door. I found her puking into the flowerbed next to the front porch.

I reached out and pulled her hair back. It felt dirty and matted with dirt. I didn't care I just felt this need to do this small little thing for her.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Let's get you inside and into a nice hot tub. I'll give you some sweats of mine to wear. That's the best I can do until morning when the stores open," I encouraged her; in what I hope was a calm tone.

"Thank You."

I took her to the downstairs guest suite, started the bath, and then went up to my room to get her some sweats to wear. I laid them on the bed, since I knew she was in the bath.

Why do I feel this need to help her? I went and called Garrett for his advice. He laughed saying he knew I had a heart in me somewhere. 'Ass' I thought.

"Seriously it sounds like she's been abused in more ways than one. First thing in the morning call Shay Donavon, she is the best I know at counseling abused teens."

"Thanks," I said writing down her number.

I went and checked on her. I found her sleeping curled in a ball. She looked like an angel lying there.

I still didn't even know her name or where she came from. As I got myself ready for bed, I couldn't help but try and think why I felt so protective of this little angel. I fell asleep with thoughts of the beautiful broken angel who was two floors below.

I woke the next morning and found Rose cooking breakfast.

"Rose, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked.

"Garrett called and said you might need some help. Emmett and Edward will handle the office today. You will eat and then call Dr. Donavon. So, what's her name?"

"Rose, she doesn't talk much, so I don't know. All I know is that I've got to help her."

"Jasper, Garrett said you sounded different on the phone. He said that you found your heart after all these years."

"I won't go that far Rose. She might feel better if you went and told her that breakfast is ready; She seemed scared of me."

"Jasper, she doesn't know me," Rose said sounding irritated with me for asking.

"Ok, I'll do it myself, but be warned she scares easily," I retorted before walking out into the hall, which led to the guest suite.

I knocked on the door and when I didn't get an answer, I slowly opened the door, not wanting to scare her. She was still asleep. With the sun light shining in her room, she looked even more like an angel. My heart skipped a few beats.

I knelt down by the edge of the bed, "Darlin' it's time to get up. A good friend of mine, Rose cooked us breakfast."

I watched as she stirred a bit. 'Stop, please you're hurting me,' I heard her say as she rolled away.

God, what has this child been through? I'll be damned if I let anyone ever hurt her again.

"Sweetheart, I won't hurt you, please come, and eat some breakfast."

She then shot up straight in the bed, "Where am I?"

"Well, you're at my house. I'm Jasper, and you are?"

"How did I get here?" She asked sounding confused.

"I brought you home from the restaurant last night."

"Oh, you're not going to hurt me are you?" She asked timidly, sliding back up against the headboard.

"God no, I just want to help you in any way you will let me."

"My friend Rose came over and cooked us some breakfast, would you like to come and meet her and get something to eat?"

"I'm not sure I can eat, these past few weeks each time I eat, I throw it back up."

"Try Darlin' please."

"I'll try, thank you. I'm Bella."

"Nice to meet you Bella, as I said my name is Jasper and all I want to do is help you."

"Can I have a moment to myself?"

"Of course you can. I'll be in the kitchen it's the last door on your right."

I walked back into the kitchen, and Rose had everything dipped up onto three plates with coffee and juice in the center of the table. I'll have to do something nice for her, since she is taking such good care of me and my house guest.

Rose and I were talking when Bella walked into the kitchen and sat down, but as soon as her bottom hit the chair she was up and running towards the bathroom once again. I followed and like last night and held her hair back.

"Thank you; I don't understand what's going on. I've never felt like this before," she cried with tears running down her face.

"We'll figure this all out. I'll have Rose put on some tea and make you some dry toast. It might help settle your stomach."

"Rose can you make her some tea and dry toast; it might help," I asked as I reentered the kitchen.

It was nearly thirty minutes before Bella rejoined us. I'd already cleaned the kitchen since Rose cooked; I felt I should at least clean up after us. "I'm sorry," was all she said as she sat down.

"Jasper, why don't you go and make the calls you need to make, and I'll sit here with her," Rose suggested.

"Bella, would that be alright?" I asked.

"I guess," was her simple reply.

I had my suspicions on what was going on with my house guest, and I wasn't sure how to handle any of this. The first call I made was to Garrett, I knew I would need his help, as always. I then called Dr. Alice Cullen; she was the only OB/GYN that I knew. She was also married to Edward one of my VPs and best friends. Lastly, I called Dr. Donavon, the counselor Garrett suggested last night. I was pleased when all three said they would be here in the next hour or two. I sat here for a few more moments wondering what the hell was I getting myself into. Is this the right thing to do? So many questions and so little answers were coming to me.

Walking out of my office I heard Rose and Bella talking, it sounded like they had moved from the kitchen to the living room.

"He hurt me every chance he got," I heard her tell Rose.

The poor girl, my heart went out to her, and I knew right then and there, I would do everything in my power to make sure she was safe.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: First I have to thank my pre-reader the awesome Lady Tazz along with my girls, abbymickey24, fallgoddess, LunarEclipse1, and KimRathbone. They keep me writing by encouraging me and fixing my mistakes, so by the time this hits my beta she just needs to add the final touches. FFnet is being a brat and I can't respond to reviews the link says its expired. I'm floored by the amount of reviews chapter one got. As to my HEA, some could say I have it, but to me it's still out there waiting for me to grab it. This story will be under twenty chapters long, but at least ten chapters long only time will tell for sure. Next chapter we will hear from Bella and what she went through from there her and Jasper will talk and we will learn more little details as she learns to heal with his help. I can't say how long between posts since I'm currently writing so many stories. I was going to post this in two weeks, but something inside just made me post it now. Chapter three is with Beta and I'm working on chapter four.**

I just couldn't find it in myself to go in and disturb their talk. She was opening up to Rose, and this could only be a good thing. Rose saw me standing in the hallway and nodded to me. I knew this was her way of saying I've got this.

I found myself back in my office just staring out into the garden. Who ever hurt her had to be sick. Nobody deserves to go through what I suspect she has gone through. I was so deep in thought that I didn't even hear the front door.

"So, Rose thinks she is the one." Was the first thing out of his mouth as he entered my office.

"She, just a kid for Christ's sake, I just feel I need to protect and help her," I answered.

"Jasper, you've known this young lady less than a day, and you've opened your home to her and want me to work on getting you custody of her. I believe Rose is right on this one."

"Garrett, I just want to give her a place where she feels safe," I barked back at him as Dr. Donavon walked into the room.

"Garrett, I should have known you had your hand in this. Mr. Whitlock it is nice to meet you, wish it was under different circumstances," Dr. Donavon said winking at me.

"Thank you for coming, I know it's Friday, and you most likely have stuff to do, but that young lady out there needs help. We also need as much information as we can get from her, so we can keep her safe." I told them.

The three of us talked for while longer. Dr. Donavon asked me, please call her Shay. The lady was a few years older than I am and was flirting with me like there was no tomorrow. She is a very attractive, but I was just not interested.

We had just decided that Dr. Donavon would talk to Bella in my office when Dr. Cullen walked in.

"Jazz, I'll need to use one of the bedrooms to do a full exam along with taking pictures. She is scared to death, but seems to be put at ease having Rose close to her. Where the hell did you find this kid? Jazz you've never been one for picking up strays, why this one?"

"Alice I can't explain it, but I just feel I need to protect her. As to where I found her, she was at the restaurant last night hiding in the booth I always sit in."

"Jazz, I've known you, most of your life, and I see something in your eye, which I've never seen before. She's the one isn't she?" Alice blurted out.

"Alice why do you, Rose, and even Garrett keeps saying she's the one? I don't know why I am doing all this; I just feel the need to protect her. She slept in the downstairs guest room, so I guess you can just use that room. Is there anything I can get you?"

"Yes I ran by the office and picked up the portable ultrasound machine, would you be a dear and bring it in for me."

"Alice, do you know Dr. Donavon?" I asked, so if not I could introduce them.

"Yes, Jazz we went to school together."

"Alice the way you talk to Mr. Whitlock you know him quite well. Why have you never introduced me to him? A yummy man like him needs a good woman like me," Dr. Donavan joked with Alice.

"Shay, he would only break your heart. He's looking for the one, not someone to have fun with."

"Alice, honey what says I can't be the one?" Dr. Donovan retorted.

"Ladies I'm standing right here. Why don't we forget about me and worry about young Bella out there," I said rather harshly, hoping to put an end to this inappropriate display.

I was pleased when Alice led Shay down to the bedroom. Garrett helped me bring in the ultrasound machine and set it up in the bedroom. Rose was explaining to Bella what was going to happen. I could see how scared she was.

"If you ladies need anything else please just ask," I said as Garrett and I turned to leave the room.

I wanted to be in there, but at the same time, I didn't. I all ready had a feeling that she has been to hell and back.

Garrett and I returned to my office to discuss what options were open to me.

"Jasper depending on her age, there are only two ways I can see this going, you can file for custody if she is under the age of sixteen; but if she is sixteen or older it might be easier just to marry her. We need to find out who her parents are either way we go. Are you sure this is something you really want to do?"

"Garrett you've known me my whole life. You're like an uncle to me. Would I've called you last night and this morning if I wasn't 100% investing in saving this girl?"

"Damn, you have it bad for her."

"I don't know what you mean; I just want to help her."

"Yea right, trust me, she is the one. You just don't want to admit it to yourself just yet."

We bantered back in forth for a while longer until Rose and Alice came in.

"She gave me permission to tell you what she told us so far. Shay is still in there talking to her. Her full name is Isabella Maria Dwyer; she turned sixteen in September, which is also when she was thrown out of her house. She's been on the street ever since, but ever so often her stepdad, as she calls him finds her, rapes her, and beats the shit out of her. She is very malnourished and yes she's pregnant, very pregnant. We're talking like eight months maybe eight and half. She is already starting to dilate."

"Alice I know that look what aren't you saying?"

"Jazz when we got her talking, it was like the flood gates just opened up, and she couldn't stop talking. You're right she's been through hell and is just getting back. Her abuse is not just sexual and physical, but also mental. It wasn't just her dad, but her whole family that is in on the mental part. That's all I can say. Shay will have to tell you the rest. Jazz you're doing the right thing helping her."

"Jasper here's what I've just found on the internet. She is the daughter of Phil and Renee Dwyer. He works for Boeing not sure what department it doesn't say, but he is an ex-deputy sheriff. There are three other kids in the house along with some stepsiblings."

"Is that all?" I asked Garrett, who at some point when Alice was talking had used my computer to look up my broken angel.

"Yes, but I can have one of the P.I.'s I work with from time to time find out more if you want, but this is a good start, and since she is sixteen. I would say we get her parents to give you permission to marry their daughter."

"Then what? That kid isn't mine and you know there are people just waiting to get their hands on the company if I don't produce an heir by this time next year," I growled. I still can't believe I've allowed myself to come this close to losing everything.

"Jasper think about it. You can teach this young lady about love, and if she is as close to delivering as Alice thinks. You have time to produce that heir with her."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter is very descriptive of what occurred to me as a child. If you can't handle reading about sexual abuse you might want to skip Bella's POV. Please remember that all the abuse is real the only thing not real is the teenage pregnancy and being kicked out of the house. I struggled through school and graduated when I was nineteen; where shortly after graduating I joined the Army. When I left for basic training my family told me they would see me in two weeks as they all felt I would fail. News to them I won't allow myself to fail, I even went two weeks with a cast on my foot. I'll also add that all the physical abuse Bella has gone through was not as a teen for me, but as an adult married to my first husband, who also raped me in front of our almost three year old son. I did end up pregnant from the rape, but unlike my Bella, I couldn't have the child knowing how it was created. I've also deside each time I send the next chapter off to my beta is when I'll post, so this tells us that chapter 4 has been shipped off.**

**Chapter 3**

**Jasper's POV**

It was hours before we saw Shay. The look on her face told me this was bad, very bad. I was scared even to ask her.

"Mr. Whitlock, she asked me not to tell you the rest of her story. She doesn't want you to feel any sorrier for her than you already do," she informed me.

"Dr. Donavon, Alice said that she gave you permission to talk to me about what she's been through, why did she change her mind?" I asked.

"Mr. Whitlock, I can assure you this was her choice, nothing I said or did. She simply changed her mind and asked when she could leave not wanting to be a bother to you."

"Damn it! She isn't leaving my house. I will take care of her and her child. That girl deserves a better life than the one she has," I said strongly, hitting my fist on my desk.

"She's asleep right now; you should try and talk to her when she gets up. You might be able to convince her that you want her here. This needs to be her choice and nobody else's. Do you hear me Mr. Whitlock?"

"Dr. Donavon I hear you and will give her the choice. I just want to help her and give her a better life," I said sounding defeated.

**Bella's POV **

I couldn't believe I was talking to this person, but there was something about her that put me at easy and gave me the courage to talk.

"The summer I was five maybe six. I can't remember, which it was I do remember that my younger brother was still sleeping in a crib. Mom had separated from my stepdad. She was working as a housekeeper for Swedish Hospital downtown. My old brother and sister never wanted to play with me. They were always saying I was ugly, and that I was adopted because my real parents didn't want to raise someone so ugly. They also told me I was stupid. Sometime during that, summer a cousin or uncle I don't remember which, came to stay and watch us while mom worked. I don't remember his name for I never saw him after he left." _I found that I couldn't sit still as I went from playing with my hair to scratching at my skin as I continued to talk._ "Shortly after he moved in he started touching me, telling me that all good little girls get touched. I wanted to be a good little girl. At first, it was just with his finger, but then it changed to pencils first it was one inserted and slowly over time; it was raised to eight. This went of a few more times before he showed me his dick. He encouraged me to touch it with my hand, and then one day he had me sit down on it. It hurt, but I didn't cry for I was being a good girl, and good girls don't cry. It was shortly after that, he moved out. Life went back to normal. I always kept trying to play with my brother and sister, and they always kept saying how stupid and ugly I was. Years went by; I struggled in school confirming that I was stupid." I couldn't believe what I just said and then the realization of it all hit me. I almost broke down; there was no way I could go on.

"Bella it's alright, just take a few deep breaths and try and continue. You're doing great," This strange lady who makes me feel comfortable informed me.

I did as she said; I took a few deep breaths before continuing with my story.

"Mom had dated many men over the years, but none seemed to stay long. I remember when I was six, I got lost at the zoo. My brother was supposed to be watching me, but I couldn't find him, so I did what my teacher at school told us just a few weeks before when we went on a field trip. 'If any of you kids get separated from the group go back to the bus, and we will find you there.', so I went back to the van and waited, but nobody came and got me, so I went back into the zoo to see if I could find my brother. I don't remember him getting in trouble for losing me, but I got in trouble for not staying put. More men came and went, then when I was nine a new guy came into our home. I hated him from the moment, he stepped foot in the door, and the first dinner just confirmed in my mind that he was a bad man. You, see I'm what you call a picky eater. I don't eat much. That night we had Red Snapper for dinner, and Phil made me eat it, at one point I got up and threw it up, but Phil still made me finish. He said I couldn't leave the table until I cleaned my plate. I fell asleep at the table and got in trouble for it. Months later, they married. We were being sent to friends in Oregon, so they could go on a honeymoon, the night before we were to catch the bus down; I got sick, I guess you can say. I was sitting at the table looking at a picture book with my older brother next to me. He hit me, and I turned to look at him, and I could see his mouth moving, but couldn't hear a word he was saying. I was taken to the ER where they drained my ears gave me medicine and sent me home. My ears were so full of fluid that it rendered me deaf. Even with me sick, we were still shipped off to Oregon. I was sick for two weeks still not being able to hear a word spoken to me. I was scared and wanted my mom, but she wasn't there. Slowly, over time, everyone got sick too. It was the worst summer of my life."

I was crying and had to stop once again. This time the lady didn't say anything to me, she just watched as I cried, trying to take the deep breaths to calm myself. Once I had calmed myself, I continued on with the story.

"Shortly after we got back from our summer in Oregon, Phil started touching my sister who was already well developed at the age of ten almost eleven. I don't know if he knew I could see him touching her. It was a year later that he started touching me. We had just moved into a new house, so we could go to a different school, since I was going to repeat the fourth grade because it was discovered I couldn't read. Phil's touch was not gentle like before, and he was cruel he told me if I ever told anyone I would die and so would my mom. The mental abuse continued. Everyone still said I was stupid, but now it was added in that I would never amount to anything. Phil had a drinking problem and that drinking problem caused pain to each of us. Mom had broken fingers more than once. We all had bruises along with his continuing to touch me. I was eleven when he said he was going to fuck me stating that I was his and his only and nobody else would ever touch me. I really had no friends, so I spent much of my time alone in the cubby storage area that was accessed through my room. While I was inside hiding, I would talk to my imaginary protector Phillip, who just happened to be a werewolf. At night, I would climb out on the roof of the house look up at the sky and ask for any alien out there to come and take me away from all this pain. More and more, I wished Phillip was real. At age twelve, mom allowed Phil to adopt us. I still always thought of him as my stepdad."

Once again, I found myself stopping taking a few deep breaths before I could continue on.

"Part way through seventh grade we moved to Japan. We stopped in Hawaii for ten days first. It was the most boring ten days of my life. We rented a condo two blocks off of the beach, but we couldn't go to the beach; if we wanted to swim, we had to do it in the pool at the condo. Phil had grown up in Hawaii even watched the bombing of Pearl Harbor from his kitchen window. Yup, he showed us the house he grew up in, the school, and the little shop he always stopped at to get ice-cream. Once in Japan we started back to school, there was only five weeks left, I was told that they would average my grades from the states with my grades I made there, but that never happened. I had to repeat the seventh grade. The year I was fifteen we came home for Christmas. I got into a huge fight with Phil's mom my step grandma. For once mom backed me up. She had called me stupid and worthless. Mom took us, kids and we went to a friend's house for the remainder of our time there except when we all had our doctor's appointments for check-ups. It determined that mom had cervical cancer and need to have a hysterectomy. We were given a choice if we wanted to go back to Japan with Phil or find friends, which we could stay with and go to school here, while mom recovered. My sister and I stayed at the same place. This was a mistake. I was treated like a slave it was Bella do this Bella do that. My life was going downhill fast. I hated being alive. One day talking to mom on the phone, I said something about my sister staying up and cooking for our friend's older brother. This started a big fight between us. I ran away. I took what little money I had and brought a bottle of extra strength Excedrin and took it all with a bottle of Mountain Dew. I ended up at another family friend's house sicker than a dog. I spent the next three days puking. I still just wanted to die. Why couldn't I've died? Just days before it was big news that a mother of two OD'ed on Aspirin."

I was crying so hard again that I had to stop this time for a longer period. I drank a full glass of water, which the lady handed to me. She even gave me a sandwich, where she got it, I don't know. Maybe someone brought it into her. Once I'd eaten, I started again.

"At this point I decided that I would rather go and stay with Phil in Japan. I soon found out that Phil was cheating on my mom with a Japanese lady; I also found my voice and told him to stop. He paid me two hundred dollars if I would keep my mouth shut and not tell my mom. What teenager would give up two hundred dollars? Phil and my mom worked to get me back in the correct grade having finally convincing the school to have a conference. What an interesting conference. One in which all the teachers except for one said I was more than capable of doing ninth-grade work. This one teacher who taught ninth-grade biology said I was to dumb, and that she would not allow me in her class room. This just confirmed to me that I was dumb and would never amount to anything, just like my family always told me. They worked it out where I took eight-grade science, which is what most schools in the states taught in ninth grade so as long as it was not identified as an eighth grade science; I would have no problem with credits when I got back to the states. Once back in the states Phil decided I was his again and the rapes and abuse started all over again. He encouraged me to go to a party that was being put on by the cross-country team I was on. That night I drank way too much and was raped by one of the guys. I tried to tell Phil, but he would have none of that calling me a liar. It was just a few days after I turned sixteen. He kicked me out calling me a no good-for-nothing slut."

I broke down once again and just cried.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: As Bella starts to trust Jasper she will be talking to him and letting him help her heal. Unlike the Bella in this story I never dreamed of going to college, cause I believed I was so dumb. Now as an adult I would love to go, but now I'm married to a man who don't think I need to go. **

Chapter 4

**Jasper's POV**

Part of me so wanted to know everything there was to know about what my broken angel had been through, but deep down, I know a part of me was fine with her changing her mind. Soon enough everyone was gone, and I was left alone to think, while my angel slept.

I went and sat in the kitchen, so I would know as soon as she got up. I didn't want her sneaking out of the house before we could talk.I wanted to let her know that she could stay here as long as she liked with no strings attached.

As I sat there, I realized that the reason I thought of her as my broken angel was because she was indeed the one. Her soul called to mine, it was also, then I realized that I couldn't marry her, unless we were both deeply in love. I knew she didn't feel that way about me at this time.

I started making plans that would help me survive after I lost everything come this time next year. I knew with what money the restaurant made; I could support myself along with Bella and her child. It would mean getting a smaller place to live, but it would be manageable and that was all that matter to me.

Yes, I grew up in this house. I always had money for everything I wanted and more and up until last night, it all meant more to me than my own life. Finding my broken angel had made me see the world differently than ever before.

I slowly devised a plan to show her how much she means to me. I would gladly give up all these millions to have her in my life happy and healthy.

I glanced at the clock, and I was shocked to see it was almost six pm. I decided to get some dinner ready. That was one way I had cut back expenses already; I let the cook, and housekeeper go. I learned to cook in college, and if I wanted a clean dorm room, I had to do it myself. I found that I didn't mind picking up after myself and enjoyed cooking, it helped to relax me.

Not knowing the types of foods my broken angel liked, I decided to go with something healthy for her and the baby. It wasn't much just a simple fruit salad and a turkey and cheese sandwich. As I was sitting the salad on the table, I heard my angel's door open.

I wasn't sure what to say or how to act. Trying to make a person trust me along with like me at the same time, wasn't something I've done much in my life.

"Bella, I made us dinner, would you like to try and eat something? I have some juice in the fridge if you would like some." I asked as she came around the corner into the kitchen.

"Thank you sir, but I don't want to put you out any longer. I've slept more last night and today than I have in months. I'll get out of your way now," she informed me, as she headed to the side door.

"Bella you're not in my way. I want to help you, please try to let me help you. I promise I only want to be your friend," I pleaded, hoping she would not walk out the door taking my heart with her.

"How do I know what you say is true? I've been lied to my whole life. At least out on the street people tell you as it is and not what they think you want to hear," she answered sounding agitated.

"I can understand that trust is something that is earned not given. Please give me a chance to show you that I can be trusted." I pleaded with her again.

"Ok, but if you change your mind, please let me know, so I can leave on my own and not have you throw me out. I don't think I can take much more of people saying one thing and then doing another," she said firmly.

It was hard for me to think of her as a teenager, she sounded and acted like an adult. This has to be because she was forced to grow up so fast. I wanted to pull her in my arms telling her that everything would be alright, but would they? Could we have that happily ever after that everyone dreams about?

She sat down and picked at her food.

"Why do you want to me help?" she asked.

"You don't deserve this life you've been dealt. I know I can't change your past, but if you let me, I'll show you what living is all about, and it is not just surviving."

"How come that doctor lady said I was pregnant? I thought you couldn't get pregnant until you became a woman?" she asked looking down at the floor.

"I'm not sure how to answer that, but I'll do my best. I guess around the time you would'veturned into a woman you were impregnated. I hope that makes sense to you." I answered as calmly as possible.

"I guess it makes sense. I just didn't know that could happen. Is my baby going to be alright? Is that the reason I get so sick? What's going to happen when I have this baby? I'm too young to be a mother. I always wanted to go to college and make something out of myself and show my family; I'm not dumb, and I can make something of my life," she rambled on.

"We'll get through all this together, and I'll see to it that you finish high school, go to college, and become whatever your heart desires." I'd give her the moon if I could, and I know even if I lose everything I can and will still see her through school.

We talked for a bit more, before she went back to her room. A short time later Rose and Alice dropped by to check on her. They also brought her some clothes, so she wouldn't have to wear my sweats any more.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: We know I don't own Twilight, but I do own a twenty-five acre ranch, where I breed fainting goats. **

**Chapter 5**

**Jasper's POV**

"Alice is this baby going to be alright you're the first doctor who's looked at her?" I asked as soon as Rose and Alice entered the living room.

"Jazz from the scans, it looks healthy and its heartbeat is strong and normal. It's just going to be smaller than average right around four pounds just maybe, if she holds off a few more weeks we can get it closer to five pounds," Alice stated in her doctor mode.

"She's agreed to stay here, until I send her away. That just won't happen. I've made decisions. I won't do as Garrett suggests, about marrying her; but I'll seek custody, so she is protected." I informed the girls.

"Jasper, does this mean you realize she's the one?" Rose asked.

"Yes, Rose I'll admit she's the only one for me, but she's so young. I need to get her to trust me before I can even think about trying to get her to fall in love with me."

"Jasper, she will love you, because you are it for her too," Rose replied.

"Jazz, what are you going to do about the company?" Alice asked.

"Not much I can do. If I'm not married by the time my birthday rolls around Garrett will have to put it up for sale, and I know there are people just waiting for me to fail. I don't understand why my dad put that stipulation into the will and had a public reading of his will. I've been thinking about rereading the whole thing and see if there is something that I've missed or Garrett forgot was put in there. I think though that these next few weeks, I need to concentrate on making sure Bella is taken care of," I informed them.

"Well, we need to get back to the guys they're waiting on us. This is our weekend that we go out to the lake; it's so peaceful this time of the year, with snow on the ground. I just love the crisp smell of the air. Jazz I'll keep my phone on, call me if she goes into labor," Alice said as her and Rose started towards the front door.

"Have a great weekend and I'll call Alice, if she needs you."

After they left, I went upstairs to get ready for bed. Garrett won't be pleased with my decision not to marry her right now. Since she's the only one for me, I can't and won't marry her, unless I know she feels the same way, and screw him to if he doesn't like it.

I tossed and turned all night as I tried to listen to my angel. I was hopping she would stay put like she promised. I knew it was going to be hard to prove to her that she can trust me, but I was willing to do everything in my power to ensure that it happens. I couldn't take this restless feeling any longer and got up to make some coffee around four am.

As the coffee brewed, I found myself daydreaming about the day when Bella would love me. I mean truly loved me and not just for helping her during this time of need.

I longed to hold her in my arms and tell her just how beautiful she truly is. I also longed to feel her skin under my fingertips. I found myself moaning as the timer went off; thank God the coffee was ready. I groaned as I moved to grab a mug and pour myself a cup, I couldn't believe how hard I was. Damn I need to stop thinking like this. She's just a child.

I was on my second cup when she entered the kitchen.

"Don't you ever use any other room in the house?" she asked sounding amused that she found me in the kitchen once again.

"Yes, but this is where I eat, as well as where the coffee pot is."

"Can I get myself some juice?"

"Bella, please think of this place as your own. If you want something to eat or drink, just help yourself to it."

"I'm used to asking for everything except for a drink of water."

"As I said, think of this place as yours."

She smiled and walked to the fridge and poured herself some apple juice. I sat there and watched as she started pulling stuff out of the fridge. Next thing I know she is asking me where I keep my pots and pans. I told her where they were located. I found that I couldn't take my eyes off her as she moved gracefully around the kitchen.

She cooked enough to feed a small army, homemade biscuits, homemade O'Brian Potatoes, sausage gravy, and scrambled eggs. I don't remember ever eating homemade O'Brian Potatoes.

"This has to be the best breakfast I've ever eaten." I said smiling at her.

"Thank you, sir it's just something my mom used to cook on the weekends."

"Did you used to help your mom in the kitchen?" I asked.

"Yes all the time. I did most of the baking, as I could make better dough than my mom," she said smiling, as she remembered.

Since she cooked, I felt it was only right that I clean up the kitchen. After breakfast was cleaned up, I gave her a tour of the house. I found out that she loves books, so the last room on the main floor I showed her, was the library. I watched as she walked around looking at all the different books.

I told her that she could read any book in the room, this seemed to make her eyes sparkle as she pulled out the complete works of Poe, walked over to the over size chair next to the fireplace and sat down.

"Would you like me to start a fire?" I asked.

"Yes, please sir."

"Will you please call me Jasper and not sir; it makes me feel old, and I don't consider myself old."

That made her laugh; her voice was like listening to the sounds of bells. I hoped that this was the start of something.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I want to thank all of you that have gone over to TWCS and voted for my story. I'm not sure when they will close the polls and announce the winners, but I'll keep you posted. The next chapter will be at my beta sometime later today. I hope you continue to enjoy this story.**

**Chapter 6**

After lighting the fire, in the library, so Bella would be more comfortable while she relaxed and read; I left to give her some privacy. I walked towards the kitchen; I needed to figure out what to do about dinner. Talking with Bella, while showing her the house, I learned that her two favorite things to do is read and cook. For once, I'm pleased that I updated the kitchen a few years back making it a gourmet kitchen with all the latest gadgets.

It was so easy to talk with her. I hope she felt the same and will start to open up to me, as well as trust me, that I don't want anything besides her friendship at this point in time. I so do want to hear more of her laughter, as it sounded so sweet and filled with such joy.

As I reached into the freezer to take out some sort of meat, I decided that my goal for the rest of this weekend was to make her laugh and smile. I ended up taking out a package of steak. Grilled steak and potatoes sounded good.

I did a few more things before I realized that I was hungry again after that fantastic breakfast, after looking at the clock, I realized it was close to noon. I fixed two turkey sandwiches added some chips and poured two glasses of juice, before placing them on a tray to carry to the library.

"Bella, I brought some lunch. Do you feel like eating?" I asked as I entered the room.

"Yes, I can eat, thank you for thinking about me," she responded smiling at me, which made my heart jump.

I sat the tray down on the table, picked up a plate and a hot cup of cider, walked over, and sat it down on the side table next to the chair she was sitting in.

"Are you enjoying reading?" I asked

"Yes, my mom had this book, and I would sneak it every chance I got. I'm not sure, but I love the darkness of Poe's writings."

"He did have a way of painting a picture so you feel like your part of the story."

"Yes, but you can also feel the passion he puts into each of his works, whether a poem or short story like the _Tale-Tale Heart_."

"I never looked at it as passion, but you might be right most of the classic writers did have a certain style, and you could feel their passion. I guess because of Poe's darkness, I never saw it as a passion, but more of an obsession."

"That's what's great about books you can lose yourself in them and forget about the real world for a bit. Even Charles Dickens stories can be a little dark if you don't understand the time frame in which he was writing in."

"For such a young lady you seem to have an understanding for literature that even some adults, don't have."

"Reading and day dreaming, have always been my way of escaping from the bad," she tells me, causing my heart to break.

"I can understand using reading as an escape. What is it that you've day dreamed about that helped you escape?"

"I'd dream about meeting a vampire or werewolf and even aliens that would save me from all the bad," she answered me sounding so sad.

"I thought most girls your age dreamed about horses and meeting their prince charming." I said trying to lighten the mood back up.

"I don't believe in fairy tales, and prince charming is just a myth someone thought up."

Why can't she believe in them, I so want to be her prince charming, who saves her from all the bad she'd gone through.

"When you were showing me around the house, I didn't see a Christmas tree. Why?"

I'm shocked that she changed our line of conversation.

"I usually spend Christmas over at the Cullens. Our families were always close. Edward and Emmett are my best friends; you've met their wives, Rose and Alice. Ed and Em's parents are like my second set of parents, but if you feel uncomfortable going over there; we will stay here." I think leaving the choice up to her will make her more comfortable no matter where we spend Monday.

"I'm not comfortable around lots of people, can we just say here? I can make us a dinner."

"That's fine; we can go get a tree and decorations, along with all the stuff you will need to make us dinner. Would you like that?" I asked the last part, needing to know if she wanted to go with me.

"Do you think, if I give you a list of what I want to cook you could just get it. I really want to stay right here, for the first time in a long time I feel safe."

I feel so bad for her, and once again; she is breaking my heart. Nobody should have had to go through all that she has.

"Yes, if you give me a list I will run and pick it up. I'll bring the phone in here for you to call me if you need me or think of anything else that you need."

"Thank you, Jasper. You're so kind for letting me stay here. I would also like to say, thank you for making me feel safe."

"You don't have to thank me. I want to be your friend. I always want you to feel safe around me and in this home for as long as you want to be here."

_God I hope she'll always want to be here. I so want her to see me as more than a friend._

I left her sitting there reading, while I went and got her the phone making sure my cell number was in the number one position. I didn't want her to have trouble getting a hold of me if she needed me. I really didn't want to leave her, but at the same time I liked the idea of Christmas being just the two of us.

As I left I called Carlisle to let him know that I would not be there Monday. He said he fully understood and hoped that soon Bella would be up to meeting more people. I guess Alice and Rose both have talked about her, and Esme is dying to meet her. Esme is and always will be one of the most tenderhearted people I've ever met. It's a wonder that she and Carlisle only had two children.

I first went by the tree lot close to my restaurant, before heading to the Fred Meyers to pick up decorations and all the food Bella had asked me to pick up. As I headed back to the house, I felt so light and happy inside for the first time in years. It's like the biggest burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I know now that yes, there is someone for me to love. It might be a long road for us to get to that point, but all the same; I hope that one day soon she will feel for me as I do for her.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you all that have reviewed there were a few that won't let me reply. We all know FF seems to have it's good days and bad days. The next chapter is with my pre-reader, my beta is out of town this weekend and will get to the chapter Monday or Tuesday after she gets home from work. The chapter nine will be from Bella's POV as she spend the day with Esme and Rose shopping to create the perfect nursery.**

**Chapter 7**

Once I got back from shopping, Bella joined me in the kitchen to help put the food away. After we finished, we set up the tree to decorate. I couldn't remember the last time this house had a tree. Once the tree was done, I made Bella sit and relax while I cooked dinner.

She fought me on it saying it was her job to cook for me. I reminded her that she was pregnant, and that she needed to slow down and relax. She huffed as she went back to the library to read.

I cooked us a simple meal, since I knew Bella wanted to make a couple of pies tonight. I even helped set everything up for cooking tomorrow. Part of me wishes she didn't insist on cooking a full meal, after all it's just the two of us.

I placed our plates on a tray, right along with a glass of juice, and a glass of wine for myself. I quickly cleaned up my mess before carrying the tray into the library.

"Bella, please eat," I said placing the tray down.

"Thank you."

We talked just like we had at lunch. It still baffled me how anyone could treat this young lady the way they have. I find myself listening to her ever word. She is older than her years and so insightful.

I knew that we still had a long way to go before she would open up to me, and I could learn the full existent of the abuse she's gone through. I pray that she will allow me to be her savior from the horrors that she's gone through. I yearn to touch her, hold her, and teach her what love is really all about.

I helped her as best as I could, as she made the pies, we would eat the following day. Once they were cooling, she yawned before telling me she was heading to bed. She walked with more confidence than I've seen. This pleased me, it told me that she was feeling relaxed and at home here.

I didn't sleep much again, thinking about her. I can say that I didn't listen for her to leave as I knew that wasn't on her mind. I guess you can say I laid there thinking about all the stuff we talked about.

I love the excitement I saw in her eyes as we talked about different authors and their style of telling the story. The insight she has on the classics is better than an English professor I had in college. She has a passion for books like I've never seen before, and I know with some encouragement; she could take that far.

I will do my best to make all her dreams come true. Right after the first of the year, I plan to look into what she needed to do to finish high school. I was even willing to hire someone to home school her since, we will soon have a baby to deal with.

That got me thinking the spare bedroom she is using is too small and has no room for a crib. I would have to talk to her about moving up here to the rooms across from mine. Those rooms would be perfect for her, and they are close together only separated by a bathroom. That way, she could have a room and the baby the other.

Could I handle her being so close to me? Thinking about that I came to the conclusion that I would indeed sleep better having her right across the hall.

I'll have to talk to Rose and Esme to have them decorate the rooms to fit Bella; Esme will just love Bella. I can see Esme taking her under her wings and helping her blossom into a fine young lady, which I know is just itching to get out.

Bella is like a breath of fresh air, one that I'll enjoy breathing for years to come if she lets me.

There are still so many ifs and doubts about the future that only time will tell what is to become of us. I dozed off for a bit, but woke with a start as I heard something hit the floor in the kitchen.

I jumped and ran down stairs to make sure my Bella was alright.

"Sorry didn't mean to wake you," she immediately said, as soon as I walk into the kitchen, "I just dropped the roasting pan trying to get it out without making too much noise."

"Do you need any help?" I asked

"I've got it; coffee is ready if you would like a cup."

I gladly fixed myself a cup of coffee, sat down on one of the stools in front of the island, and watched her work. For the looks of everything, she's been up a while. Stuffing, was done and already stuffed in the bird, eggs were cooked; cranberry sauce was done; taters were peeled, and in the pot waiting to be turned on. She even had the green-bean casserole waiting to be placed in the oven along with some homemade candid-yams. She even made homemade rolls.

I reached for one of the rolls only to have her swat my hand telling me they were for dinner and not until.

"Would you like me to cook you a light breakfast as you won't lose a hand if you go for the rolls again?"

"Those rolls smell so good can't I have one please," I whined.

"Whining won't get you a dinner roll!"

I got up and made myself a bowl of cereal, not wanting to lose a hand, one that I'll need when I finally get to touch her.

Once I was finished with my cereal, she kicked me out of the kitchen telling me she can't work with me watching her. I found myself in my office. Damn why can't I sit and watch her? She moves with such grace around the kitchen.

Bored not knowing what I should do with myself, while being kicked out of my own kitchen, I decided that now was good as anytime to start going over my dad's will. I wanted to see if I could find a loop hole of some sort.

I didn't recall the last time I read something so slowly. I'm so used to skimming through documents just to get the jest of what it says. My future was bound to this document. How could I move Bella out of the first places she has felt safe and only God knows how long? I loved this house and would hate to move out of it.

I'd just gotten to the place where it talks about how I had to be married by the time I was thirty, when Bella knocked softly to inform me, dinner was ready. As I stood I looked at the clock, I had no clue that I'd been reading for that many hours.

Upon smelling the food, my stomach growled letting me know it was indeed time to eat.

This had to be the best Christmas meal I've ever eaten. I was in awe, here this sweet sixteen-year-old girl living out on the streets and scared not knowing when or where her next meal will be, just cooked me, a meal that was fit for a king.

"Bella, this is the best meal I've ever eaten thank you for cooking. Since you worked so hard at preparing the meal for us, it's only right that I do the clean up." I stand and start clearing the table.

"Sir, you don't have to do that, I'm more than capable you've already done so much for me. It's I that should be thanking you for all you've done for me. You are a blessing to me." Then she also starts to clear the table.

We worked together putting away the food, doing the dishes, before Bella was willing to relax in the library. I went back into my office to finish reading the will.

I found myself rereading the same paragraph six times before I understood what it was saying. It was like my dad knew what was going to be happening. There in plan sight it said, "If my son's new wife has a child, who father is not in the picture, and my son gives said child his name that will count as his heir. This in return will give him two more additional years to produce an heir of his own blood."

How had we missed that so many times? I didn't care that it was Christmas, I had to call Garrett and have him read that and see if he comes to the understanding that I had just come to.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Here you go and guess what I have two more chapters written they are both with pre-reader. It rained this weekend so I spent it writing, but today was beautiful so I spent time outside with my animals. Once again, I couldn't respond because FF would error out to a few reviews. Thank you for all the reviews.**

**Chapter 8**

"Jasper, this better be important for you to be disturbing me on Christmas." Garrett barked into the phone.

"Garrett, calm down and Merry Christmas; yes, it's important, do you really think I would call if it wasn't?" I said

"Shoot and make it fast I need to get back to my grandkids."

I explain to him what I found. He said he didn't remember ever reading that, but would re-look at it as soon as his grandkids were gone. I could understand that, so I bid him a good night. I continued to sit here re-reading the words, which just lightened my heart.

I started making plans on how I could win my Bella. I knew it would have to be done in little steps, but I felt it was doable. As I glanced at the clock, I saw how late it was, and wondered if Bella was still awake.

Knowing that I'd not gotten her anything for Christmas, I would have to do something special for her once she felt more comfortable here. Having her in my life is the greatest gift, which has ever been given to me.

I decided to check on her; I noticed the light on in the library. I smiled as the sight in front of me, Bella fast asleep in the over-sized chair next to the fireplace. She was leaning over onto one of the arms, with her legs pulled up tight against her. There was no way she was comfortable like that. I picked up the book, which had fallen onto the floor and placed it on the side table.

Touching her shoulder, I softly called her name not wanting to startle her, "Bella."

After not getting a response, I picked her up; she instinctively placed her head on my shoulder. She was so light; I hoped with all my heart that she would gain some weight and bring a healthy baby into this world. I carried her to her room, placed her on the bed, making sure she was covered up, so not to catch a chill. I found myself placing a kiss on her forehead, before turning and leaving the room.

I slowly climbed the stairs; my mind was still reeling from the information that I'd found. I knew she felt safe here, but could I get her to love me as I loved her. I still find it hard to believe that this beautiful angel was made just for me.

I couldn't get the feel of her body out of my head as I took my shower before crawling into bed. She'd felt so perfect, just holding her for that short walk from the library to her room set my body on fire. She's awakened feelings inside me that I never knew I could feel.

Once Garrett called me back, I'll talk to him about guardianship of my angel. He needs to understand that when I get married it has to be for love and nothing less. Once I know, she has feelings for me, I'll explain everything to her, reassuring her along the line that I truly do love her, and that I don't want to marry her just to keep my inheritance.

I know if I want her to be honest with me, I have to be honest with her.

I slept better than I had in a while and woke up to the smell of cinnamon rolls. I remember when I was small, Cook used to make them. I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"You Darlin' shouldn't be doing so much! I should be taking care of you not the other way around," I thought out loud to her, as I entered the kitchen.

"I've got to do something to show how much I appreciate all that you're doing for me," she replied from her seat at the table.

I poured myself a cup of coffee before joining her at the table.

"Bella, can we talk for a moment?" I asked.

"Sure, what's on your mind Jasper?"

"I've been thinking, with this baby coming soon that it would be better if we moved you upstairs. The bedroom you're in is too small for us even to think about putting a crib in there. There are two rooms across the hall from mine that are joined by a bathroom. We could turn one of them into a nice nursery, while you have the other room."

"You want me to stay even after I have this baby?" I couldn't miss the disbelief in her voice. She sounded like she thought I had gone insane.

"I've already told you this is your home for as long as you like."

"What if I never want to leave?" she asked looking down at the floor.

"That would be fine with me," I answered.

"You truly want me and this baby to live here, for as long as we like?" Her posture hadn't changed; her body let off the vibe of being afraid. I don't want her to be afraid. I knew I had to choose my words carefully and push all the care and love I felt for her in them.

"Yes, Bella this is your home for as long as you feel comfortable staying. I want you to stay."

"I like it here. I feel safe for the first time in a long time, but I'm scared my dad will find me and take me away." She then started crying.

I moved from my seat and knelt beside her chair.

"Bella, honey look at me please," I pleaded.

Once she was looking at me, I said, "I'll protect you, if you allowed me the honor I would like to file for guardianship of you, this way your dad could never hurt you again…"

I couldn't finish my train of thought as she threw her arms around my neck, "Thank you, oh, so much! I'll keep to my rooms and the library if that's what you want me to do."

"Bella, consider this house as yours, you can freely roam about and do whatever you wish."

She pulled back away from me and just stared at me for a moment before she answered, "Why are you being so kind to me?"

"Because you've touched my heart in a way none other has ever done. I want to protect you and give you all those things you should have had all along. You are in angel in these dark times; you brighten my life, and I want to take care of you not have you take care of me." I hoped again she felt the sincerity in my words.

We talked for a bit longer, before I took her upstairs to show her the rooms that would be hers. After checking out both rooms, we decided the one right across from my room should be the baby's room because she could picture a rocking chair next to the window. This was where she could look out onto the garden as she rocked her baby. This put a smile on my face, because I had the same idea.

I asked her if she wanted to change anything about the room, she would now live in, and she said no it was perfect. She loved the soft neutral colors; she told me that she really loved neutral and earth tones best of all. I helped her move what little clothes the girls had brought over on Friday into her room upstairs. We then talked about having Esme and Rose take her to get all the stuff she would need for the nursery.

She really liked that idea, but was a little scared of meeting Esme. I explained to her that Esme is the sweetest person I knew besides her. I like the smile that crossed her face when I told her that she was sweet.

I called and talked to Esme, who was excited to meet Bella and help her decorate the nursery. She told me that she and Rose would be over here in an hour, to pick Bella up, and to take a look at the room she would be helping to redecorate.

I then called Alice to find out when she wanted to see Bella again, and if she wanted to do it here or at her office. She said she needed to do it at the office, so she wouldn't be into trouble if something was to go wrong.

I understood that and would make sure that whenever she needed to see Bella, I would get her there. I then called the office to tell them that I was working from home for the next few weeks.

I felt lighter than I had since the night of my birthday, which is also the night, I found my angel, the one that was made just for me.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I want to thank each of you that are enjoying this story. I will openly admit I've not written a word all week, my mind has been elsewhere. It seems I'm struggling with self doubt once again. As you know, the abuse I describe in here is what I went through growing up and trust me say the mental abuse stays with you for the rest of your life. Little things bring it back to the front of your mind. I know a lot of you read my story Starting Over. I have a reviewer on that story that messes with my mind; she's been review from chapter one always complaining, but still keeps reading. It don't take much to bring up my self doubt, when you've been told as far back as your memories will take you that your dumb and won't amount to anything and can't do anything correctly. I'm sorry if these thing affect my ability to give you updates at a regular basics.**

**Chapter 9**

**Bella**

Was it weird_,_ that I was excited about creating a nursery? Jasper said that I could do anything that I wanted. He wanted me to feel like this was my home and to create a nursery in which dreams can come true in.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. Dreams. Like so many girls, I dreamed of the perfect wedding and nursery. Lately, I seem to be daydreaming more and more. I placed my hands on my stomach and wondered if I was going to have a boy or a girl. I

Alice told Jasper that she hadn't even looked to see if it was a boy or girl, because she just wanted to confirm if I was pregnant or not. She did tell him that if Esme would run me by her office; she would take a few moments to do another ultrasound to see. I really wanted this baby to be a girl, who looked nothing like her father. I don't think I could handle a baby who looked like him. I desperately want to forget the past.

I decided to find Jasper and ask if he could call Alice and find out if the ultrasound I had a few days ago reveled the sex.

I was bouncing and couldn't keep still as I waited for this Esme lady and Rose. Rose had seemed so sweet and understanding the two times, I meet her. Something inside of me says she understands the emotions and feelings I'm going through right at this moment. It's almost like she's gone through some of this stuff, but it's not my business to pry.

I jumped when I heard the doorbell. A few minutes later Jasper was introducing me to a very elegant, caramel colored haired lady. Her voice was soft and sweet, like something you would expect from a fairy godmother.

Here I told Jasper I didn't believe in fairytales, yet standing before me was one. Rose had a huge smile on her face and greeted me with a warm hug. I loved how welcoming all these new people made me feel.

After Jasper showed them the room we would be converting into the nursery, we left. Our first stop of the day would be at Alice's office to have an ultrasound to see what I was having.

As we drove, Esme asked if I had any ideas for the room. I explained to her how years ago I dreamed of finding my prince charming and decorating a nursery for our first child. I told her that in my dreams sometimes, I was having a boy and other times I was having a girl, so I know how I want each of the rooms to look.

I got nervous as we pulled up to a set of medical buildings. I'm not sure why I got so nervous; this was something I wanted, or you could say I needed to find out; so I could make the nursery the way I've seen it in my mind. At times, I still can't believe that this is happening to me.

The three of us walked together; Rose seemed to pick up on my nerves and told me to relax; everything would be fine. No sooner had we walked into the waiting area, did the nurse say, "Mrs. Cullen, please go on back to exam room three, the doctor will be right with you." I looked from Rose to Esme not understanding what just happened.

"Bella, Alice is my daughter-in-law," Esme explained to me.

We didn't have long to wait before Alice came into the room.

"Bella, since I have you in my office, I want to do a full work up if that's alright with you?"

"I can't pay for this."

"Bella, Jasper wants to make sure you, and your baby are healthy; as I said the other day, everything looks good except the baby is small. I can find out most of what I need to by taking some of your blood. I know you're scared that some how this will get back to your parents. Trust me, they will not find out."

"I'll do anything for this baby."

"Good, let's start with your weight, then I'll need you to pee in this cup, then we will go from there."

"You weigh105; I guessed correctly the other night, for your height and bone structure you should be weighing around 115. You, being this far into your pregnancy it should be close to 140. Here's the cup that door right there is the bathroom, once your done peeing set the cup up on this counter here and make your way back to the exam room, and I'll be right back in there."

I knew I was underweight without being pregnant, but I had no clue I was that far off. Living on the street has been hard, but I've eaten right the last few days maybe it will make a difference. I peed, washed my hands, and put the cup on the counter where Alice had shown me, went back to my room to wait along with Esme and Rose.

When Alice came back in she had the ultrasound machine with her along with a nurse, who had the stuff to draw my blood. After drawing my blood, the nurse left and Alice had me lie down on the table and lift my shirt up.

The exam seemed to take a very long time, so I started to panic. Was something wrong? Alice noticed and explained that she was just taking measurements, which would give her a better idea of how far along I was and how much the baby weighed.

"Every thing looks good it looks like you are 35 to 36 weeks along; we should be meeting this little one the end of January. I hope that telling you it's a little girl will make this easier on you."

"A little girl is what I was hoping for," I said smiling for the first time since we got here.

"Good, now I've faxed over some information to Jasper on ways to help you gain some healthy weight between now and when we get to meet this new little person. It's not just calories that you need to be eating; it's healthy food. I think you should eat four to five small meals each day, because you don't want to over load your system either. I want to see you back here in a week, since you are already starting to dilate, I need to watch you a little more closely than my other patients, but everything looks good. I'll call you in a few days and let you know what the blood work showed. Now go and enjoy buying stuff for the nursery, wish I could come too."

She handed me a few pictures that she took of the baby. It made this way more real.

Once back in the car we drove to the downtown area, which housed a lot of up-scale shops and parked in front of what could only be a high-end furniture store. I've never heard of it, but from the pieces in the window, I could tell it was the top of the line stuff. Why am I so special to Jasper that he is willing to pay this kind of money for a nursery? I know that only time will tell when I'll leave. He might get tired of me and my baby, and kick us out before long. Since he wasn't here to argue with I would just have to go with it. There is something about him that makes me feel safe and loved.

After looked around the store for a bit I found what I was looking for.

It was like something you see in the old-time movies out of Europe. The backside railing was curved high and came together with a fleur-de-lis. The rail on the front was also decorated with a fleur-de-lis. It was also one of those sets, which could be converted into a full-size bed later on it had soft vanilla finish. It had such an elegant feel to it, it was perfect for my daughter, my little princess. I can't believe it; I was going to have a daughter.

We got everything in the set, which included, six-drawer dresser, which was long and doubled as a changing station. I came with the added railing that could easily be taken off, as my daughter grew older. We also got a tall five drawer chest, combo hutch as they called it, two-night stands, and lastly, an armoire. From there we went over and looked at rockers. I picked a white glider with an ottoman and lumbar pillow for my back.

I've never seen so many different decors for bedrooms, then again; I've never gone shopping for any type of bedroom stuff. The set I fell in love with was taffeta and stain in cream and pink. It also had lace. The different fabrics and colors were put together like a quilt in rectangles, and some had silk flower sewn on. There were also stain bows that attached the bumper pads to the crib. Of course, Esme insisted that we buy every piece that was made to go with it, musical mobile with mobile arm cover, and all different styles of pillows that had flowers on them. Esme even got a floral sheer window panel along with drapery panels, a diaper stacker, a cream shag rug, and two different color memory boards.

Lastly, we got a small prima ballerina teddy bear and a slightly larger one as well as an ivory chandelier to hang in the center of her room. I didn't even want to look at the price tag on anything. I felt like Cinderella when she got her dress for the ball. Maybe Esme was my fairy godmother after all.

After getting that all settled we bought more clothes than I currently own, wait more than I've ever owned at one time. Once everything was ordered and set to be delivered in the next two days, we went out for lunch.

We talked about having the room painted a soft cream color, with a light pink colored trim. My baby was going to feel like a princess in her room. Rose drove on the trip back to Jaspers, so Esme could make some phone calls. She called her office to get a few people to move the stuff out of the room and into the storage shed, and then arranged for the painters to come and paint the room.

Because paint, fumes aren't good for me and the baby at this stage, she told me that she would prefer me to stay downstairs and away from the rooms upstairs until it was ready.

I didn't know that she owned her own business as an interior designer. I didn't know elegant women like her worked outside the home. I hugged both of them goodbye when they dropped me off.

This place was really starting to feel like home, and I couldn't help, but smile as I opened the front door.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I just sent the next chapter off to pre-reader, so here is this chapter. Be ready for some dark days within Bella's mind.**

**Chapter 10**

While Bella was off with Esme and Rose, shopping for the nursery, Garrett finally called back. He'd re-read the will and saw what I saw, so he asked how I wanted to proceed. I told him that I wanted to seek guardianship of Bella first and try to get her to fall in love with me before we ever married. He said he would start the paper work and submit it to the courthouse as soon as possible. Being the CEO and having my two best friends working for me made it so much easier to work from home. I hung up with a smile on my face.

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I felt the weight slowly being lifted from my shoulders. Maybe everything could work out. Smiling I went and cooked dinner for us, while I waited for Bella to return. Esme called and gave me heads up that the moving crew along with the painting crew would be in the following day, and she would like me to keep Bella away from the paint fumes. I had no problem with her sleeping in the guest room for a few more nights.

The smile on Bella's face, when she walked into the kitchen told me she enjoyed her day. This lightened my heart. She was so beautiful and radiant; I vowed to keep that look on her face.

As I pulled the casserole out of the oven, I asked her how her day went.

"I really enjoyed my time out, thank you for making my dreams come true. Would you like to see the picture of the baby? I don't know what I'm going to name her, I have a few in names I've always liked; however, I'll have to see her to know which name is right for her," she said so fast that I had to strain to understand what she was saying.

"Yes, I would like to see a picture of our baby."

She stood there staring at me; I couldn't figure out why until she stammered out, "You called her our baby. Why?"

Shit I can't believe I said that, but I really liked the sound of calling the baby ours.

"As I told you this morning, I've gotten attached to you, and I would like you to think of this home as much as yours as it is mine. So with that line of thinking it's only feels right to think of the baby as mine. I would like you to consider giving her my name, so you don't have to worry about putting the fathers name down to remind you of what took place," I explained hoping this would help her understand just how much I care.

"You want to give the baby your name?" She questioned me again with an amazed tone of voice.

"Yes, if you let me. Now please sit down and let's eat dinner, you've had a very busy day." I smiled then grabbed the casserole from the counter and placed it on the table.

Bella showed me the sonogram pictures before we ate. We talked all through dinner. After looking at the picture of the baby, we ended up just talking while we ate, and she agreed to give the baby my name. _ Seeing the picture of the baby made my heart jump, just like my Angel, I already loved it, and it wasn't even here._ After cleaning the kitchen up from dinner, we went into the library, where I lit the fire as she settled down in the chair to read.

Oh, how I loved seeing her so relaxed and at peace. I picked up a book to read, settled down on the couch; from time to time, I could glance at her.

The New Year came and went, Bella and I settled into a routine where she cooked breakfast, and I would cook dinner, limiting her workload. She was now settled in the upstairs bedroom. Instead of spend much of her time in the library, I would find her sitting in the rocker, looking out over the garden. I knew once spring hit it would be a wonderful view.

At her appointment on the third, she had gained four pounds, and you could already start to see her belly rounding out. Many times, I've wanted to touch it, wanting to know if she could now feel the baby moving.

I loved our long talks; she finally started to open up to me about her childhood.

It made me sick and angry to think a man could do what her uncle/cousin or whoever he was to her would do that to her. What I didn't get was that she held no hard feelings towards him, because she swears, he was always gentle, where her stepdad wasn't.

She had yet to talk to me much about the abuse from her stepdad or the rape, but I was more than willing to wait until she was ready to talk about them. She would talk to Shay twice a week and Shay ensures me that she has a much better handle on her emotions than most young girls who have gone through what she has. Shay had informed me that many girls that had early sexual abuse ended up with mental disorders, and struggled dealing with life in general, as teens and young adults. Shay thinks it's the day dreams that have helped keep Bella attached to the here and now, stating many get lost in the dreams and start to believe in them.

Bella seems to understand the difference between the real world and her daydreams. She also thinks this shows that, Bella is very intelligent, and should go far in life as long as she has a stable environment to belong to.

Shay was going to testify at the hearing the following week. I wasn't worried about it; I knew once everything was presented to the court, they would give me guardianship of her.

We walked into the courthouse; I got my first look at the scumbag that is her stepfather. Garrett had told me just a few days before that her parents were going to contest my petition, stating they didn't throw her out that she ran away from home.

I was glad to have Emmett and Edward with me because they had to hold me back from beating the shit out of him. Bella touched my arm and said, "He's not worth it," she was right; he wasn't worth me going to jail over. Alice and Shay both testified as experts in their fields. The judge pulled Bella into his chambers to talk with her one-on-one. Then it was a game of wait and see. I can't believe we had to sit in the courtroom while the judge took close to four hours to make his decision.

I paced back and forth until we were told to take our seats to hear the ruling. I walked out of the courtroom, feeling everything was in my reach. The outcome had pleased me beyond words.

We all went out for a celebration dinner, with Carlisle and Esme joining us. Bella was legally mine. Well not really mine, but we are well on are way to where I want to be, because as each day passes we become closer, and she s is slowly opening up to me.


	11. Chapter 11

**I want to say I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've posted on any of my stories. I just couldn't find it in my heart to write. It wasn't writers' block it was not heart to write. Well I woke this morning and I wrote on all my current stories.**

**A/N: In this chapter, we will get to meet our little princess. Most of you are moms and know how well cared you are at the hospital when you go in to have your baby. Remember Bella is me in so many ways. The abuse and rape she went through are all things I went through, so I decided that she would experience what I did when I had my first son back in 1987. **

**Bella being dilated was true, but not on my first pregnancy, it came from my second one. I had gone in on the third of January and the doctor found me already dilated and thought for sure my son would come early… My due date was the fourteenth of February; Matt was born the first of March….. **

**Now on to what I went through with my first. I feel I need to give a little back ground information. I worked at McDonald's as a crewmember. I was making just a little more than $3.15 an hour which was minimal wage back then. McDonald's didn't offer medical to crewmembers back then, but they do offer it now. **

**My then husband couldn't seem to keep a job, but because we were married I couldn't get approved for welfare help. I talked to all the hospitals in Seattle looking for one that would take payments, as most wanted everything up front, if you didn't have insurance or on welfare. The only one that would allow me to make monthly payments was UDub hospital if you don't understand the slang that is the University of Washington Medical Hospital. To those of us that grew up in Washington the University is referred to as the UDub. **

**Things were weird from the very start of my pregnancy. If you went from the first day of my last period as they always do my due date should have been May 19****th****, after my first ultrasound they changed it to June 6****th**** and then later to June 30****th****. All based on the size of my son. I didn't have any morning sickness, but I still lost 15lbs before I started gaining weight. I still only gained 10lbs. **

**On June 11****th**** I had an appointment for a stress test because they were worried about the baby's heart rate after my appointment just a few days earlier. During the test, my son went into duress and I was taken up to labor and deliver where they monitored my son for the next three hours, everything went back to normal, and I was released to go home.**

**I was still working and it was alright with my doctor. I was part of the opening crew for June 12****th****, which meant that I would need to show up at 4:30 in the morning, around 10:30 pm when I decided to go to bed my back started hurting me. I didn't feel any contractions. We called the hospital to talk to a nurse to see what could be done so I could get some sleep. She told me to take a nice hot bath and that should relax the muscle in my back. That didn't help in fact it got worse so, we called back and the nurse said if you're not having any contractions you're not in labor, but come on up and we will check you out and give you something mild for the pain and send you back home.**

**45 minutes after I got there out came my son. Everything Bella goes through is how I was treated once I walked through the door after talking to a nurse. Trust me I know this is not normal, but this is truly how I was treated. Only residents were on the delivery floor as both doctors including mine were performing an emergency C-section that was life threatening to both mom and child…. **

**Chapter 11**

After we walked out the courtroom, Shay told us that she would see us at Bella's next appointment. She gave Bella a hug as she explained she didn't feel it would be appropriate for her to celebrate since she just testified as an expert witness. _I'd so wish that was me Bella was hugging. I so wanted to feel her arms wrapped around me._

I led Bella to my car, walking close to her, yet not touching. Just being this close, I could feel the energy jumping back and forth between us. Being the gentleman, which I was raised to be, I opened the car door, in order for Bella to get in.

I followed Carlisle's car out of the parking lot and to a Bistro, a few blocks away. As we were waking up to the front door, Edward walked towards us, without Alice by his side. This was odd when neither of them was at work those two were never far apart. Sometimes, I've wonder if they weren't joined at the hip.

"Alice road home with Shay, she felt it was for the best." He tilted his head toward the parked cars on the side of the Bistro. It seems that Bella's mom, and stepdad had also chosen this Bistro.

"I understand. I'll see her tomorrow at my doctor's appointment," Bella said before giving Edward a soft smile.

I love seeing her smile; I vowed to make her do it more often.

We walked to the entrance, opening the door and walking in to meet up with the rest of our friends. Rose and Esme both hugged Bella congratulating her on the outcome of the hearing.

As the hostess picked up the menus to show us to our tables, Bella's family walked through the door.

"I bet he only wants our daughter because she is such a whore."

Edward and Emmett grabbed me before I could deck the guy.

Bella placed her hand on my shoulder instantly calming me and whispered. "He's not worth it".

How could this sweet young lady allow someone who was supposed to love her call her such a name and walk away, was beyond me.

After we sat down, Bella explained to me that Phil only said that to get me riled up, and hopefully thrown in jail, so he could have the guardianship reversed. Everyone seemed to agree with her, so I let it slide. I wasn't happy about it, but I didn't want to give the court any reasons to reverse today's decision.

We order our drinks and our meals. I couldn't help, but smile when Bella ordered juice and the chicken Caesar salad. She's become very conscious about eating correctly to ensure that our little girl was going to be born healthy.

We all talked and laughed as we ate, I've never seen Bella so relaxed, and I hoped that this was just the beginning of our future together. Bella continued to talk the whole ride home, which was a first.

As I opened the front door to the house, Bella placed both her hands on her belly and gasped.

"Darlin', is everything ok?" I asked worried that she had over done it today, or was possibly going into labor.

She reached out and took my hand placing it on her belly. "Feel that?" I was awed at feeling the baby move for the first time. We stood there just in the doorway, and it felt right.

Looking into Bella's eyes, I could see the joy, the sorrow, as well as the fear she felt. I wanted so bad to take the sorrow and fear away from her. This was the first time we've touched. Caught up in the moment I learned forward and very lightly touched my lips to hers. I was sure she would back away, jump or something, but instead she just stood there. When I pulled back her smile had brightened, her fear was gone, but the joy and sorrow lingered.

A cold wind whipped in through the open door reminding us where we were currently standing. We both stepped inside, and I shut the door locking it. I turned to find Bella climbing the stairs.

"It's still early. Do you want to watch a movie with me?" I wanted to spend some more time with her and hoped she agreed.

She stopped and turned around. "Sounds good, I just want to change into something more comfortable."

I went into the living room, picked out a movie I thought she would like. 'Jane Eyre', I placed it in the DVD player, picked up the remote and went to sit on the couch to wait for Bella. I hoped that she would sit next to me instead of in the chair she normally did when we watched a movie. I hope she felt the connection I did in that kiss. I know that, deep down, I'm hopelessly in love with her. I wanted to be able to show her how I felt. It's getting harder for me not to touch her when she's within reach; I wanted nothing more than to show her what it feels like to be worshiped, cherished, as well as loved.

I didn't have to wait long to find out where Bella would sit, as she came in and sat right next to me. This was so encouraging. I turned on the movie. As the movie played, Bella shifted closer to me and by the end of the movie was resting with her head on my lap, with me playing with her hair.

Before she headed upstairs I gave her another soft kiss, I felt her lean in closer to me allowing our bodies fully to touch. Her heat along with the electric current flowing through us, urged me slightly to deepen the kiss.

Over the next week, our relationship started to change. I was still working from home, so I could be close to her, and close is what we've become. I was pleased when she would seek me out just to cuddle on the couch.

Bella had just started her thirty-ninth week; Alice said everything was looking good, and that we should be ready at any time for Bella to go into labor. Alice is still shocked that she's carried this long being as she has been dilated to four centimeters since I brought her home right before Christmas.

I can't believe the changes I've seen in Bella over these last few weeks; she has been so relaxed and carefree, just like a young lady her age should be. She started an independent study program, so for a few hours each day she's doing school work. I find myself checking up on her more often, needing to be near her. I've gotten so used to us cuddling for a few hours each day, after she worked on her school work. I find my heartaches for her when I'm not with her.

She now sees Alice weekly, and so today the first line of business was an appointment, which upon returning we ate lunch together before Bella went into the library to work on her schoolwork. A few hours later, I find myself needing to check on her. As I walked into the library, I could see the pain written all over her face.

"Darlin' are you alright?" I asked as I crossed the room towards her.

"My back hurts and I can't get comfortable."

"Let's get you laid down, it might help you get comfortable," I said not knowing what else to say or do. I was both scared and concerned, and was lost on how to help her.

Both Alice and Esme have explained to me what Bella should be feeling if she was having contractions, and this didn't sound like it. I helped Bella out of the library up to her room and up to her bed. I then went back down to the kitchen to bring our lunch up to her room.

Something wasn't right I could tell by the look on Bella's face. I dropped the tray on the floor not caring about it, ran to her bedside.

"Darlin' I'm calling Alice," I wiped a tear off her cheek.

I explained everything to Alice, and she told me it sounded like back labor and to get Bella to the hospital now; she'd meet us there.

I drove as fast as I could, parked helped Bella out of the car and into the hospital. Once in the maternity ward, we were, asked, to sit and wait. Alice wasn't there yet and to the nurse, it didn't sound like Bella was in labor.

After what seemed forever, they finally took Bella to a room to examine her. After she was checked out we were informed that Bella was dilated six centimeters, and that they would get a room ready for her and hook her up to a monitor. They still doubted that she was in labor. Once again, we were told to wait by ourselves, and that wait seemed like forever, before they escorted us to a labor and delivery room. No one lifted a hand to help Bella get to the room, and I had to help her get into bed. The nurse the meandered over and hooked a monitor up to Bella. Just as she started to walk out of the room and leave us alone again, Bella's water broke.

The nurse seemed shocked that it happened and yelled for a doctor._ Where the hell was Alice? _

The nurse returned and I asked where Doctor Cullen was, as she had said she was going to meet us here.

"Dr. Cullen is in doing an emergency C-section," the nurse replied not really caring one bit about Bella, or at least it seemed that way.

Bella made a sound; it was hard to describe, and the nurse turned around and yelled at her not to push; Bella yelled back that she wasn't pushing. I've never been so scared in my life. I didn't know what to do for Bella, and I didn't understand why Alice was doing a C-section when she knew Bella needed her.

Finally, a doctor walked in like there was no urgency to what Bella was going through, checked Bella, and asked her not to push they were going to move her to a delivery room. All of a sudden, there was a big commotion everyone rushing towards Bella and then the next thing I knew, the doctor was laying a screaming little baby on Bella's middle. "Looks like we have a little girl," the doctor said.

She cut the cord, handed the baby to the nurse and then told Bella to push, so she could deliver the placenta. They cleaned Bella up and then the doctor told the nurse to take Bella to a room. She then turned and walked out of the room not even asking about how the baby was or if Bella felt okay. It seemed like she didn't care about what happened at all and could care less about Bella and her baby.

I never dreamed of anything like this happening. I thought they would treat us better than this. I was so going to be yelling at Alice about this when I saw her. The nurse wheeled Bella to a room had her change beds, before telling her that someone would be by in a bit to give her an update on our baby.

An hour later, a nurse brought in our baby. The nurse handed our daughter to Bella and asked if she was going to breast-feed or bottle feed. Bella told her she wanted to try breast-feeding. She explained how it worked as and helped Bella place our little girl in the correct position. The baby quickly latched on and started sucking, and then all of a sudden started wailing like a banshee.

The nurse pulled the curtain closed around Bella and a short time later; I heard her explain to Bella that it looked like she didn't develop any milk. As she pulled the curtain back open, I could see the look of disappointment in Bella's eyes. Before the nurse went to retrieve a bottle, she turned and said a very small percentage of women don't develop milk with their first pregnancy.

This seemed to ease Bella's mind a bit, but I could still see it hurt her that she wasn't going to be able to feed her daughter the way she dreamed of. While waiting for the nurse to return with a bottle Bella rocked and talked to our daughter, she called her Keagan. I smiled; it sounded perfect.

I feed Keagan, so Bella could rest. It wasn't until I had her changed and back asleep, when we finally saw Alice. She couldn't apologize enough for not being there, and as soon as we told her all that had happened; she pulled out her phone, and was yelling at who ever she called.

It wasn't until the next morning that they brought Bella the paperwork to fill out our daughter's birth certificate. It had her weight and length already written on there as well as the time of her birth.

My heart was full of so much love as I watched as Bella fill out the form placing my name as father. I already loved the name Keagan, but seeing her full name written out made tears fall from my eyes. 'Keagan Marie Whitlock'

Shortly after the paper work was done they released Bella to go home. I wanted her out of there, because they didn't seem to care about her. I wasn't sure if it was because she was a teen, or because she was with me. I guess I'll never know or understand how they could treat someone like they treated Bella.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I know this is short, but this is the way I see this chapter the next chapter will be all Jasper and we will be doing a little time jump not much of one but just a bit. I go into a dark place every now and again nothing as bad as what I've got Bella doing, but I will lie in bed and not talk to anyone. I will eat and bath, but nothing else.**

**Chapter 12**

**Jasper's POV**

Keagan is such a joy to have around; she is quiet, unless she is hungry or needs to be changed. Bella seems to be slipping away from me. I don't know what to do. I've even talked with Shay a few times, of course she can't tell me anything. I just have to trust that she will be able to help Bella through whatever it is that's happening.

Things had been going well before Keagan was born, and now they are worse than the first few days Bella was here in my home. I ached to hold her, to let her know that I will be there for her in any way she needs me.

I've tried to beg Shay to give me some hints on how I can bring back my angel, but no amount of begging is getting me anywhere with her. She is all about helping Bella heal.

Bella hides in her room in constant darkness as I care of Keagans' needs. I've not even done any work since bringing them home from the hospital. Edward and Emmett seem to have stepped up to the plate knowing that I need to fix what is going on here as well as taking care of the little angel, whom Bella so kindly is sharing with me.

My little angel looks so much like her mother. Which at times just looking at her makes me cry and ache all that much more for her mother. I'm at a total loss on what to do. Shay keeps telling me just to give her space and time.

Each time I take food into her room; it just breaks my heart, sometimes the tray is empty, but others it's not even been touched.

**Bella's POV**

Every time I close my eyes all I see is Phil. Him hovering over me telling me I'm his, and if I ever tell I'll die. The only way I feel safe is to stay awake and hide in my darkened room.

I know food is brought to me; I know Shay comes and talks to me. I don't remember her, but she told me her name the first time she came. I don't talk back I just sit here listening to her words, but nothing seems to help with the image I see each time I close my eyes.

I haven't a clue what the day or the time is, I just sit here in the corner of the room. It no longer even feels like my room as I'm in a prison in my mind. I don't know where I am and that alone scares me more than I can express in words when Shay comes to talk with me.

Each time my food is brought to me, I feel something, which I can't put into words. There are times I feel like I'm forgetting something, but I can't figure out what. Each time I hear a baby cry I break down and cry. I have no clue whose baby or where the baby is when I hear it cry; this must be a trick my mind is playing on me.

I just want to sleep, but I can't allow myself to in fear of seeing Phil again. My skin crawls as I feel his hands on me. I can't seem to get myself to move from the corner I sit in, not even to take a shower to get this crawling feeling off of me.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I know I promised this chapter a few weeks ago. To be honest I have chapter 14 and 15 completed also but not beta'ed at this time. I've been working like crazy on an original which will be published once completed. I know this isn't My Surrender, but most of my readers read all my stories, so I want to thank who ever nominated for an award on the ****thenon-canonawards . blogspot . com . au Voting is opened on the 13****th**** of this month I hope y'all will go and vote for my story. I'll keep you all posted on my original and when it will be released. I'll do my best to continue writing on all my stories as I work on my original, but some days that story seems to be taking over my mind and it's the only thing I can think about. **

**Chapter 13**

I opened the window to get the stale smell out of Bella's room. It's been a month since I brought Keagan and her home and in that time, Bella has done nothing but sit in the corner of her room, with a blank look on her face. The air is stale. The fresh air just might do her some good.

Shay can't get close enough to touch her and thinks it would do more damage to push her. I'm beginning to think Shay is going about this the wrong way.

Alice and Rose have been by a time or two, and they get nothing. Alice never considered that this might happen, if she had the baby. I don't think any of us saw this coming.

Esme and Carlisle showed up today and took Keagan saying I needed to get some rest. I only agreed because I really did need to get more than just a few hours of sleep.

I laid down and fell asleep with no problems, but when I woke it was like I had this big hole through my chest. I missed my little angel. I showered and got dressed to go down and fix something for dinner, as I passed Bella's room, the smell of the stale air, was just too much I couldn't stand this any longer. She was my life; she is the mother to my daughter, and I couldn't sit back and watch her live in this hell that she seems to be living in right now.

I opened the door and turned on the light. Bella screamed at me. She didn't sound anything like the sweet young lady I meet at the restaurant not long ago. She sounded wild and frighten. I walked over to her and kneeled down.

"Bella, it's me Jasper. I'm not going to hurt you; I just want to help you. Let's get you cleaned up. You can't live like this. It's not healthy for you."

I was pleased when she looked up at me, but she quickly pulled the blanket over her head and started screaming again. I stood-up and picked Bella up. I adjusted her in my arms, so I was carrying her bridal style, into the bathroom. Propping my leg up on the side of the tub, I placed Bella's legs over mine, I reached in with my now freed arm and turned on the water, once it was warm I placed Bella in the tub the blanket right along with her.

Her screaming got worse for a moment, and then she calmed down and started to cry. She slowly let the blanket fall away. I reached in grabbed her shampoo and slowly not to scare her washed her hair. I was pleased that she didn't start screaming again.

I needed to wash all of her, so I reached to pull off her shirt, unclasped her bra. This was the first time I've ever seen any of her body naked. She was perfect. I had to shake my head to remember what my goal was here. I carefully washed her upper body; I was still scared I would scare her, and she would start screaming again.

When I was done with her upper body, I asked her softly if she could stand, so I could strip off her yoga pants she had on. I was so pleased when she stood and let me pull off her pants and panties.

My first look, at the woman who owned me heart and soul made me hard_. Then I started talking to myself, okay Jasper, get your head out of the gutter and get it back to helping Bella._ I took my own advice and got to work. I carefully washed her, grabbed the big fluffy towel from the bar, turned off the water, wrapped the towel around her, and picked her up.

I carried her out of her suite and across the hall to mine. I didn't even dry her before placing her in my bed. I found myself crawling in and just holding her. I loved the feel of Bella in my arms. She soon fell asleep.

The house phone rang, and I rolled to answer it.

"Hello," I said as I picked it up not even looking at the caller ID to see who it was.

"Son, how are you feeling did you get any sleep?" Carlisle asked. He's always thought of me as a third son, and it was fine with me.

Since I knew Bella was asleep, I got up from the bed to walk to the bathroom to talk, in order not to wake her. I was half way to the bathroom when the whimpering started. I turned she still looked asleep, but it wasn't peaceful.

The farther away I got the louder the whimpers.

"Jasper is the Bella?"

"Yes, I went against Shay and bathed her, and she's now asleep in my bed. I was holding her until the phone rang." I explained.

"Then get your ass back into that bed, we'll be over in a bit," he said quickly right before hanging up.

I placed the phone into its cradle and crawled back into bed. As soon as my arm wrapped around her, her whimpering stopped.

A short time later Esme stuck her head in the room, telling me the girls were cleaning Bella's room, and she was cooking some dinner. I just nodded not wanting to disturb my angel.

I could feel the change in her breathing and knew she was waking up.

"Angel, how do you feel?" I asked.

"Jasper, where am I?"

My heart jumped; she knew who I was. I felt lighter than I have since the day she went into the darkness of her mind.

"You're home and safe," I tried to reassure her.

"Where's Keagan?"

My heart even started beating faster; she remembers our daughter.

"She's downstairs, with Esme and the girls. Would you like to go down and see her?"

"I want to stay right here… hmmmm so safe."

What is my angel doing to me with her words? My body, heart, and soul are all reacting to her words.

"I'll be right there with you at all times," I reassured her again, hoping this would be another step in the right direction.

I hear as well as feel her giggle, and then she said, "I'm only wrapped in a towel and why is that?"

"Darling, what do you last remember?" I asked needing to know.

"You, bringing Keagan, and I home yesterday."

_Shit she doesn't remember the past month! What the hell happened? _

I shifted on the bed, so I could sit up, pulling Bella with me, so I could look into her eyes.

"Darling, that was a month ago." I tried to explain to her in a calm voice as I watched as her face scrunches up with confusion.

"I don't understand?" She whispered as her eyes started to well up with tears.

"I'm not sure what happened, but you seemed to forget there was a world around you. You just sat in the corner of your room rocking back and forth. You would eat some of the meals I brought up, but not all of them."

"I remember you bringing me home, and I took a nap since Keagan was sleeping. I remember dreaming about Phil," she said back with a small voice, and then she starts screaming and the tears began running down her face.

I pulled her up, so she was sitting on my lap. I held her close, running my hand up and down her back trying to calm her. Carlisle stuck he head in the door. I knew from the look on his face he wanted to know what was going on.

"I'll explain later," I respond to his wordless question and then turn my concentration back to Bella.

I was going to make Phil pay if it was the last thing I ever did.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I know my postings have really slowed down; there are a few different reasons. I will do my best to finish each of my current Fan Fic's, what I can't say is if I will continue writing fan fic's my life is taking a different turn right now. I still love to read fan fic's, but my head just isn't into writing it and I don't want to post poorly written chapters. I've got so many projects going it's not even funny. Training two horses, taking care of my new boarders, two under weight horses; it's getting close to birthing season again for my goats. I currently have 4 original story lines in the works. As I said I will finish all currently posted Fan Fic's, it just might be slower.**

**Chapter 14**

It has been a full month of Bella not being aware of her surroundings, all because of that asshole. I was livid, to say the least. As I held my angel, thoughts of ways to make him pay, danced through my head. I knew that whatever I did it would have to be done quietly, but at the same time, I knew that it had to be something that couldn't be traced back to me. I would never forgive myself if I lost custody of Bella, because of something I did to her stepdad.

Once I got Bella calmed down, I asked if she wanted to get dressed and go downstairs. Is this the right choice? Should I take her down her or bring her daughter up to her?

"I'm scared of what the others will think of me," she quietly whispered to me.

"Darling, they know your life was hell before I found you, and they won't judge you for this. Like me, they have all been worried about you. I think it would be a good idea if I called Shay to come over so you can tell her about your dreams. I want you to be able to put this all behind you. I'm here for you. We will do this how ever you want," I tried to reassure her.

"I'll go down as long as you stay close. I feel safe with you. Can you ever forgive me for checking out for a month and leaving you to take care of Keagan?"

"There's nothing to forgive. You were dealing with your demons." Yes, I wished she would have been able to talk to me and let me help her, but I also know that wouldn't be easy for her. At least, not right now, it's all still so fresh in her mind. So I'll wait until she is ready, because that's the one thing, I can do for her, in all of this, is to wait and listen.

"Thank you for everything. I know I still have a long way to heal, but with your support, I can and will get through this. I hope. I feel things for you, and I know you feel things towards me too. I enjoy your touches and kisses, but I'm scared of taking it further," she again whispers to me in her unsure voice, dipping her head down, so as not to make eye contact with me.

"I won't push you; we are working at your pace, Darling."

"Will you come with me to get dressed; I can't stand you being that far from me right now; I feel so safe."

"Sure."

I couldn't take my eyes off her as she removed the towel, opened her dresser drawer and pulled out clean underwear. I so wanted to run my hands over her body, bring her the pleasures she should have received and not the pain, which she did. I was hard and straining against my pants watching her form. She didn't even put on a bra just pulled a t-shirt off the hanger and then reached for a pair of yoga pants.

We walked down the stairs holding hands. I was thinking about work and how much I really needed to get back to it, just so I wouldn't be hard when we walked into the living room. Last thing I needed was for the people I thought of as my family to see just how my body reacted to her, my angel.

**Bella's POV**

I can't believe what he just told me. I've been in my own world so to speak for the past month. I know my body doesn't hurt like it did the day he brought me home, but why would anyone let me live like what he described.

My emotions were all over the place. I'm trying to hold it together, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it. As we entered my bedroom, all I could smell were the cleaning products and disinfectants that were used. It was cleaned very recently, so maybe he is telling me the truth, and I checked out for a month. This frightens me; I've hidden out before, and I've closed off my mind to the world around me, but never for more than just a few hours at a time.

As I dressed, I could feel his eyes on me, it helped to keep me calm. Wow, the hair on my legs and fact that my skin is still unblemished, someone took care of me; even if I couldn't. I know I was still bleeding a little but that was dealt with as well, maybe Alice or Esme. I don't know. I've never felt safe like this before, it's new to me, and it scares me a bit, but not in the way that Phil scared me. Thinking Phil's name made me remember that first dream I had when I took my nap that first day returning from the hospital. I don't want to think about him or any of the stuff he's done to me. It's weird…. feeling safe and protected by a man whom I know so little about. I want to find out more about him and see where all these feelings I have are taking me.

Once I'm dressed, we walk down the stairs holding hands. He is the only thing that is keeping me together right now. I feel like I'm going to break. As we enter into the living room, I can see each face etched with worry. I knew that worry was for me.

They all care so deeply for me. Having so many people, care for me was something so new that it just added to all my emotions. Jasper led me over to the couch close to where Esme was sitting holding Keagan.

I leaned into Jasper needing to touch him to have the strength; I needed to stay calm.

"Dear, would you like to hold your daughter?" Esme asked.

"Yes," I answered as an uneasy feeling started to come over me.

Esme stood so she could hand me my daughter. I took her and hugged her close to me for just a second. She started fussing, which caused me to look at her face. It wasn't anything like the face I'd seen just yesterday. It wasn't only yesterday though. It had been a month, four weeks, thirty days; give or take. How had I missed so much of my daughter's life?

Keagan started to squirm, and her fussing got louder. She didn't even know me any longer. How could I do this to her? How could they let me check out for a month? I couldn't take it any more I pushed her into Jasper's arms, jumped up from the couch and ran out of the room.

I ended up in the library, the one place I felt the safest of all; besides his arms. I curled up in my favorite chair and cried. I'm not sure, how long I'd been there crying when I felt his arms wrap around me.

"Angel, I'm right here. Let it all out. It's going to be alright. Shay is on her way here."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I will admit I've not even started the next chapter, but I do know what I'm going to write. I took in two boarder(horses) one of which is very under weight and I'm spend loads of time trying to get her back to health. She's had a vet check and she checks out healthy besides the weight problem, but she still worries me to death. I like fat a happy horses. No the side note I'm almost completed the next chapter of MS.**

**Chapter 15**

I sat holding my angel as she cried. I knew she'd been too calm with all the information I'd given her, but I'd held onto the hope; she would be alright when she saw Keagan. When she pushed her into my arms, I knew this day wasn't going to end the way I dreamed it would. Maybe, I should of brought Keagan to her and maybe not in front of all these people, but that's a would of should of, that doesn't even matter now cause the damage is done.

After giving Keagan back to Esme, I called Shay before heading to find Bella. Since I didn't hear her run up the stairs I knew she had to be in the library, and yes she was in her favorite chair crying.

I've always loved that big over-stuffed chair as well; it was large enough for two to snuggle in real close, so I squeezed in behind her and wrapped my arms around her hoping she wouldn't pull away or even worse push me away.

"Angel I'm right here. Let it all out. It's going to be alright. Shay is on her way here."

It felt really good when she turned and buried her head into my chest. I pulled her closer, as I shifted so I was seated fully in the chair with her sitting sideways on my lap. I talked softly to her hoping this would help calm her down, so when Shay got here they could talk.

The crying had stopped and I thought she was asleep, but I guess not since as soon as Shay walked in the room all hell broke loose.

"You… you let me lose a month; a month of my life a month of my CHILD'S life. Why? Just sitting there wasting away I mean I'm probably thinner now than before, when I was living on the streets fighting for every meal. You're a doctor! Who is supposed to help me deal with my fears, but no you left me to relive them over and over again for a whole fucking month".

Shay just stood there staring not believing what she just heard. I was in shock myself. I never pictured my sweet angel going off like that on anyone.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I was at a loss on how to get through to you and get you back to us. You wouldn't talk; all you did was sit there and stare off into space. I'm sorry I couldn't do for you what Jasper did and for requesting he stay away. In all my years, I've never seen someone go so deep within themselves were nothing that happened around them affected…"

"Enough of your bullshit! You're my shrink; you're supposed to help me, but instead I became your experiment because I did something you had never seen before."

She stands up now hands in tight fists, still yelling.

"So what…what needed to happen for you to actually do something for me? Did I need to stop eating completely or better yet stop using the bathroom and start peeing and shitting on myself before you would have gotten off your ass and actually done something useful? You know what? You're a lousy shrink! Do you want to know what was going on in my head for a month? You want to know why I couldn't sleep or move from my spot, for the most part? I'll tell you why and then I don't ever want to talk to you again, because whatever you're doing isn't working!," she paused for a moment, I guess to gather her thoughts, by this time, the whole family was all huddled around the door, watching and listening to my very angry angel.

"The last thing I remember was Jasper bringing Keagan and I home from the hospital, she was sleeping so I laid down to nap. No sooner had I closed my eyes all I could see, feel, and smell was him. He was hovering over me; he was inside me and with each thrust, he would tell me I was his and his alone and if anyone else ever touched me, he would kill us. It felt so real. I thought for sure I was going to die. When I opened my eyes, I could still feel him and smell him. I was scared as much for Jasper as I was for myself," she paused again. She sat back down now like she exhausted all her energy, which she probably had and then settled back onto my lap. I wrapped my arms around her hoping to give her some of my strength in doing so. She continued on with what she had to say, but she wasn't yelling anymore.

"I've never… felt so… _safe_… as I've have here in this house. I've never welcomed a man's touch before like I welcome his. Before Keagan was born, I dreamed of Jasper loving me and making love to me. Nobody has ever made me think like I was worthy of those feelings before…" Trailing off at this point, she broke down and started crying again. Soft sobs wrack her body and she seemed to melt into my embrace. I had to intervene now because there has been enough of a show, and my angel needed relax and eat.

"Shay, I think it would be best if you left for now. I'll talk to her and see if she'll see you again."

"Jasper, I'm just a phone call away if you need me. I'm sorry for not being able to do more for her and… actually hurting her by keeping you away in the process."

I just nod my acknowledgement at her because the only person that needs my reassurance, right now is the woman in my arms. I decided I needed to let Shay know I held no hard feelings towards her.

"Shay you did what you felt was right at the time, none of us understood what was going on in Bella's head. She is hurting right now, and the best I can do is to show her how deeply I care for her and hopefully I can continue to make her feel safe."

I watched as Shay turned to leave the room nodding to all the family. They all nodded back not just to Shay, but to me too, as they turned, leaving me alone with my angel once again.

Sometime later I heard her stomach growl, "Darling would you like something to eat? I can smell the dinner Esme, and the girls have cooked. I'm sure you must be hungry." Thankfully, I catch myself before I say something stupid like "You need to eat" which would most likely set her off again except this time on me. I shuddered at the thought; my angel can be fierce and piercing in anger, and I'd rather not have that turned on me.

She was so quiet though that at first I thought she'd fell asleep, but then she slowly pushed back looked into my eyes. "I am hungry, but I don't think I'm can be around other people, right now. I'm not sure I'm fully in control. One moment I'm sad the next I'm hurt, then angry."

"Darling I think they'll understand if I ask them to leave. We can spend some time together just the three of us, getting you and Keagan reacquainted and adjusted to each other."

"I'd like that," she answered back, a small smile playing on her lips. God, I love her smile, and I wanted a full on real one more than I realize right now. I kiss her hair and then slowly unwrapped myself from her to get our food.

As I got to the kitchen, I saw all the food, which had been cooked, but nobody was around. I didn't hear any voices either. It was when I saw the note on the counter top that I realized, that they understood we needed time together.

I picked up the note and read it.

_Keagan __has__ been feed and changed; she is asleep in the basinet in the living room. Call if you need any of us._

_Love,_

_Carlisle and Esme_

It did my heart good to know the people I think of as my family care so deeply, not only about me, but Bella as well. Maybe just maybe Bella and I can get back on track to where things were heading before she went into the darkness of her mind, where her demons live.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: If you've read my profile you know why I've not written since Aug. My mom took sick cancer, I went to visit with her in Oregon, she then passed at the end of Oct and I've been dealing with the loss. I wrote this, this morning and I even got half of the next chapter of SO written and I plan to finish it tomorrow. I'll slowly get back into writing.**

Chapter 16

Over the next few days, Bella slowly has gotten to know Keagan. I loved watching her talk to Keagan as she held her. I could tell Bella was still not herself; it's funny she'd only been in my life such a short time, but I could still see she was hurting and had dark thoughts, which ran through her mind.

I'd try to get her to talk, but she wouldn't talk to me, and anytime I brought up calling Shay; she would rant. I felt that it was good that she was releasing some of her pent-up emotions, but it was not enough to allow us fully to move forward.

I knew she wasn't a danger to Keagan, but I was unsure of if she was a danger to herself. I found myself working from home, in order not to leave her alone. I wanted to help her, and I knew ranting was good for her, so I would bring up Shay often just to get her in a rant. I would do this while Keagan was down for a nap.

Bella was so expressive, flinging her arms around, stomping her feet; she even threw a book or two at me, before she broke down and cry. I would hold her. Oh, how wonderful she felt in my arms. Oh, how I dreamed of the day she was whole, and we could love each other, as man and wife.

As days turned into weeks and weeks into a month, I slowly started to see a change in Bella, the darkness that was behind her eyes started to go away. She also started talking to me without me saying I was calling Shay.

I learned more about my sweet angel, as she talked about her life as a child. I couldn't believe how cruel her family had been to her. How anyone could be, so cruel? I guess I would never fully understand how people that say they love another person could treat them as if they were nothing to them.

I wanted nothing more than to be able to take away all the pain of the past, but I knew that was something only time could do. All I was capable of doing was love her and show her show special, she was to me.

As winter turned into spring, we took to spending a few hours out in the garden. Keagan was such a joy to watch lying on her blanket surrounded by toys. She would giggle and wiggle making Bella smile, which in turned always made me smile.

I still felt blessed each and every day that I have my angel, even though I knew she still had a long road ahead of her to make herself whole. I was also blessed with the best second family on this planet the Cullens.

Esme would drop by meals, or come spend a few hours with Bella drawing her out even more than I was able to. The one that surprised me the most was Rose who loved to spend time with Bella. Rose, who was very meticulous on who her friends were, took to Bella as well as Keagan.

The warm days of May brought around the biggest changes of all. Bella asked to start seeing Shay again stating she knew that Shay didn't mean her any harm. She also asked if we could have the whole family over.

"Who do you mean by the whole family?" I asked needing to hear whom she was calling the family.

"You know who I mean," she said in that tone that told me she was frustrated with my question.

"Bella if you want the whole family here for dinner, why don't you pick up the phone and call them yourself."

I watched as she took the phone, scrolled through the phone book on it and then pressed a number.

"Esme, Yeah it's me Bella. I was wondering if the whole family would like to have a family dinner. Yes, I'm cooking. No, just bring the family. Ok, see you all around seven," she said before hanging up the phone and setting it back in its cradle, then added, "Please watch Keagan for me, while I cook dinner," she then turned and walked away before I even answered her.

I couldn't help but smile, and did an internal fist pump of YES! This was a huge step in the right direction for Bella.

A short time later Esme called, "Jasper was this your idea, or Bella's"?

"Bella's idea and one I am pleased with. It will be good to have everyone over. I've really missed spending time with all of you. You know Bella was right in calling you all family".

"Jasper I've known for years that you felt that Carlisle and I were your second parents. I'm pleased that Bella is starting to think of us like that too. Rose, is beside herself right now, knows this is a big step for Bella".

"I'll see everyone at seven," I said to Esme, and then heard Keagan as she woke from her nap.

I felt lighter than I've had in months. Now maybe I can get my relationship with my angel back on track.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I was still smiling from my short conversation with Esme about coming over for dinner tonight, when the phone rang again. I looked at the number before answering it and to my surprise with was Garrett. We've not talked much these past few months while I've been getting to know Bella, as well as her coming to terms with her time spent in what she refers to as her dark place.

"Garrett what can I do for you this afternoon?" I asked knowing he would only call if he needed anything.

"Jasper, your time is running low. Any progress into getting a ring on her finger?"

"Always so blunt. You know as well as I do that this might take more time, can't you do something. She is just starting to open up again. Trust me I will be talking to her soon."

"You better, or be prepared to loose it all."

"Why did you let my parents write such a Will?" I questioned needed to know his thoughts on this matter.

"You know your father was not only my client, but my best friend. The best friend part of me wouldn't allow the Lawyer in me to question his motives for the way he wanted his Will done up. I do feel bad and that's why I keep pushing you. I don't want to see you loose everything, because your father had a twisted mind." I tuned him out as he rambled about the days when Carlisle, dad and himself were a trio who had wanted to concur the world. "Jasper are you still there?"

"Garrett, I think I've heard all the stories of the glory days I can handle for right now. Keegan is starting to fuss let me go tend to her, as Bella is cooking dinner right now." I said sounding a little short since I was irritated at the moment."

"You have less then six month to be married and having her with child. Now get to work," he ordered as he hung up the phone.

Damn him. I know he's right I really do need to talk to Bella, but I want her to know and understand everything. I want her to feel my love and that this isn't about a stupid Will.

I walked over and picked Keegan up giving her a little kiss on the forehead. I checked her diaper, which indeed needed changing. How can one little girl pooh so much? I cleaned her up and she was happy. She looked so much like her mother, her beautiful mother. How I wanted Bella to be in my arms each and every night. To know just how deeply I love her and need her in my life.

I sat down on the couch holding Keegan to me wondering what Bella and my child would look like, would we have another little girl or would we have a boy. I heard the clock ding at the half hour mark and looked up to see it was already six thirty; the family should be here soon.

I stood up and headed towards the kitchen to see if there was anything, I could do to help.

As I neared the door, I could hear Bella humming. This plastered a smile on my face and I kissed Keegan's forehead once again, "Angel it's good to hear that sweet sound coming from your mommy."

I knew I won't get an answer from my Angel, but I just couldn't help myself in sharing how I felt. I reached the door way to the kitchen and just stood and watched as Bella seemed to be dancing around to her own humming. I didn't want to disturb her as she looked happier at this very moment than I've ever seen her.

Keegan seeing her mommy called out to her, causing Bella to jump.

"How long have you've been standing there?"

"Long enough to see you happy for once. I have to say that I like you this way, relaxed and happy. It makes you more beautiful."

Bella turned a nice shade of pink but responded "thank you, I think I can say for once that I am happy! Everything seems to be falling in place."

"I am glad you feel safe enough with me to say that."

Another blush appeared on her cheeks and she turned away this time." I put Keegan in her highchair and walked over to see what Bella was up to.

She was finishing up frosting a cake for dessert tonight. I leaned over her shoulder and dipped my finger in the frosting and dabbed it on her nose. She let out a squeal and shouted "Stop that!" I then stuck my two fingers in and dabbed some more on her face. She squealed again, but then she dipped her whole hand in and patted me on the cheek. She then tried to dart out of my reach laughing, "I got you back!"

"Oh girl you are going to be sorry now!" I growled at her. I shot out my hands and grabbed her waist before she got away getting more frosting all over her. We kinda teetered as if we were going to fall, so I grasped the counter around behind her, which makes our bodies smash together. Wow, the feeling that shot through me was nothing like I have ever felt. The heat between us was exciting. We seemed to fit so well. She looked up and we bumped noses. Bella looked at my mouth and I at hers. I just couldn't resist, so I leaned my head in to kiss her and Keegan started laughing. Bella took a gulp of air and stepped back grabbing some more frosting to carry on with are little war.

I had just taken another hand full when I heard "Can I join" I looked up to see the family standing there and Emmett looking excited to join in. Leave it to that big goof to want to join in on our little impromptu war. Carlisle and Esme had huge grins on their faces as if they knew a secret.

"You to go clean up I'll clean this mess up and finish up getting dinner set on the table." Esme said showing Bella and myself out of the kitchen.

Dinner was great and Bella really joined in on all the conversations. All this made me smile knowing that finally Bella was on the right track. She talked to Rose about helping her get caught back up her home schooling, as well as telling us all that she would be calling Shay and getting back into consoling knowing it wasn't her fault for what happened right after Keegan was born.

The night ended with me giving Bella a kiss, good night, it was just a quick peek on the lips, but something inside me told me that it was just the beginning.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I woke the next morning to the most delicious smell, cinnamon rolls. What had I done to deserve my angels? To have two angels in my life was more than I could ever ask for. I just slipped on my sleep pants, since I had slept in the nude last night needing to take care of an erection, caused from the thoughts of taking my relationship with Bella to a new level.

I bounced down the stairs like a child needing to get to his Christmas presents. I felt like years have been lifted from my shoulders. I slowed as I neared the kitchen and hearing Bella talking to Keegan.

"You know your daddy is very special, I'm so thankful to have him in our lives. He makes me feel loved, wanted and something else I just can't put into words. I think I'm falling in love with him, but that thought scares me more than the thought of having you. What am I going to do?"

I wanted to run in there take her into my arms and tell her I was in love with her and would wait a lifetime until she didn't feel scared of those feelings. I stood there just a few feet from the doorway, just out of sight, not wanting to interrupt this moment she was having with Keegan.

"I hope your daddy enjoys his breakfast the smell alone is making me hungry," I heard her say, this caused me to move slowly towards the kitchen saying, "What smells so good?"

"I made cinnamon rolls; I hope you'll enjoy them. Have a seat and I'll pour your coffee," she answered me with a smile that really made her eyes sparkle. God how much I want that smile to always be on her face.

I sat down placed two rolls on the plate that was in front of me waited and for my coffee before I dug in.

"These are the best I've ever tasted," I said with a mouth full of a roll.

"Thank you and will you please not talk with your mouth full. I don't want Keegan to grow up thinking that is alright," she reprimanded me with a hint of a giggle behind her words.

"Anything for you my Angel."

We sat there and joked around the rest of breakfast. It felt like we had reached a turning point in every aspect of our lives. I cleaned up from breakfast, so Bella could go and call Shay, before her day got crazy. I knew this was a big step for her.

When I walked into the den after going up for a quick shower and putting on real clothes, I found Bella feeding Keegan on the couch.

"Jasper, Rose should be here soon to help me with schoolwork, and then Shay will be here sometime after lunch, would you mind watching Keegan. I really need to concentrate on my schoolwork and my time with Shay. I know you've taken care of her so much of the time, and I feel I've taken advantaged of your kindness. I don't want to do any longer. So if it's not okay just let me know."

"Bella, my Angel, it would be my pleasure to take care of Keegan. The both of you are so important to me. I'd do anything for either of you always."

I wanted to say so much more, but the time didn't feel right.

The rest of the day, I spent with Keegan, giving Bella all the time she needed to get herself where she felt she needed to be. I even cooked dinner, which put that smile on her face.

Seeing her chocolate eyes sparkle made me think of hot cocoa, with a hint of cream in it, warm and inviting.

That night once again as I said goodnight I kissed her on the lips this time lingering just a tad bit longer, wanting needing more, but not wanting to push her. I felt her arms go around my shoulders I pulled her to me. I knew she could feel my cock getting hard against her stomach, as we deepened the kiss. She pulled away slowly looking into my eyes, "Night," was all she said as she took a step back before turning and walking into her room.

Once again, I found myself needing to take care of business from my Angel's effect on my body. I had just crawled into bed after cleaning myself up, when there was a knock on my door, "Come in."

Bella walked in slowly, with unsure steps, stopped at the edge of the bed before she spoke.

"I need you, to love me please."

I just stared at her not know what to say, until I saw her tears and her slowly turning to walk away. I quickly jumped out of bed not caring I was nude. I need to her to know I did love her always and would forever.

I was aching with need for her as I touched her shoulder making her turn back towards me, "Angel I do need you and will forever love you, I was just surprised at your words. Please let me show you just how much I desire not only need. Let me love you forever and ever."

We just stood there me in all my God given glory and my Angel in her t-shirt and sleep pants, just looking into each other eyes searching for what ever each of us were searching for, it could be words or it could be confirmation of the words we'd already spoken.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Making love to Bella was like nothing I've ever experienced before. With every thrust my life took on a new meaning, as well as feeling complete, something I've longed for a long time and finally have found just who I needed in my life to make me complete.

As I came in her hard, I realized Bella hadn't had an orgasm, but the look on her face and the sounds she made told me she enjoyed it as much as I had. In reading about women who have been abused or raped in her case both, they don't know how to let them self go and have that euphoric feeling of an orgasm.

I decided as I pulled out and rolled to the side, pulling her close to me that I would teach her how to let go and just feel the love and joys of making love to the person who is your other half.

"Angel, I love you more than life its self, Let's sleep and in the morning we have so much to talk about," I said in between the kisses I planted on her cheeks, her neck, her forehead, or where ever I could place a small simple kiss to show her just how much she means to me.

As I held her close, I wondered if this was going to be my only time holding her and loving her like this, would she hate me after I tell her everything in the morning.

Sleep didn't come easy, as I laid there listening to Bella sleep. Every so often, I would run my fingers through her hair, my hand would run over her shoulder and down her arm relishing in the feel of the woman who makes me feel alive.

She has saved me in ways I can't put to words, I know in my heart I would die for her and if she decides to walk away tomorrow she will be taking my heart right with her.

I'm not sure when I finally fell asleep, but Keagan's crying woke me up, to find the bed was empty and where Bella had slept was cold, so I knew she'd been up for a while even before Keagan woke needing to be changed and feed.

I slipped on a pair of lounge pants, and then I was off to find my girls. I found them in the kitchen where once again, the aroma of cinnamon rolls and coffee hit me as a walked through the doorway.

"Morning Angel, how did you sleep last night?" I asked needing to know how she was feeling inside.

"The best I've ever slept, thank you for loving me and wanting me," she answered as she feed Keagan her breakfast.

As I walked by to get my coffee, I first kissed the top of Keagan's head and then kissed Bella's. I wanted to kiss her deep and show her just how much I love her.

"What do you want to talk about, when you mentioned it last night you sounded like you were scared of how I would react," I could hear the hurt in her voice, something was telling her this wasn't going to be a good talk.

"Let's eat and go sit in the library," I responded putting a cinnamon roll on my plate.

"Why can't we do it right here and now and get it over with."

"Bella, please lets just wait until we finish eating, this isn't going to be easy for me I don't want you to take it the wrong way." I heard her gasp and that told me she is already thinking the worst was about to happen.

Why have I waited this long to talk to her? Why did my parents put that stupid clause in their wills? I was breaking inside at that thought of my Angel leaving me asking to move out and most likely, in with the Cullen's at least I knew she would be safe and loved just as much there as she is here.

"Are you telling me last night was a mistake on your part that you were acting just like every other male, using me to get off." My heart shattered, was I going to be able to show that my love is true.

"Bella, what happened last night was the purest of love between a man and a woman. I love you more than anything in this world does, I'd die for you. You've brought sunshine into a world that was full of blackness. I didn't know how to be happy, until I met you." Sometime during my talking, I'd gotten up and was kneeling in front of her, willing her to see and feel the depth of my love for her.

"Then what scares you about this thing you need to talk to me about."

I can see she is almost in tears. I send up a silent pray that my words will not break this wonderful young lady than what has already happened to her.

I stroke the side of her cheek, push back a stray hair, "Bella my love for you will never change, and what scares me is that after you hear what I've got to say, you won't want anything to do with me and that will break me beyond repair. I'll be the one sitting in a dark room letting life go on around me not caring if I live or die."

"Nothing can change the way I feel for you, or the way you make me feel. I've never felt like this. For the first time in my life, I feel loved and wanted. Last night you made me feel desirable."

If she only knew and understood, just how desirable she is to me. I will have to show her that if what she says is true.

"Baby, in my parents will they both put a clause that I lose everything if I'm not married by my next birthday. It's not just being married that counts, but there must be a child either born or on the way."

"Is that why you wanted Keagan to have your last name?"

"God no, I wanted her to have my last name cause I'd already grown to love you and I wanted you both so much back then, but I knew that you had to want a relationship with me for this to work."

I find myself playing with her hair looking into her chocolate eyes.

"Why would your parents put something like that in their will?"

"That is a question I can't answer and Garrett seems to not remember why it was put in there either. I do know and hope you can feel my love is true and pure and has nothing to do with the fact I could lose everything come December."

"How can I be sure that once you're not in jeopardy of losing everything you will still want me?"

I wiped a tear that had fallen, and then I kissed her forehead, nose and then her sweet mouth willing her to feel.

"I'd give anything for you to believe me when I say you are my heart and soul, to lose you would be worse than losing this house, the company. What do I need to do to prove to you what I feel isn't because of some stupid will?"

Watching the tears flow down her sweet face broke my heart and it felt like it was ripped out of my chest when she pushed back her chair, stood and ran from the kitchen. How was I going to fix this and show her just how much she means to me?


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: for the first time in my life of owning my own computer, I've been having computer issues. This shouldn't happen living in a house full of computer techs, but hubby says I'm the worst customer ever and won't touch my computer, son works, so I'm at his mercy when it comes to time. Right now, my system is jury-rigged and I'm not sure how long it will last. My youngest son who don't even live at home is going to order the parts needed to fix the system correctly, so I should be good by the end of this month.. I've copied all my stories onto my thumb drive so I can now write on my laptop if need be.**

**Chapter 20**

She was back in her room sitting in the corner crying, when I went up to check on her after putting Keagan down for her nap. I walked in and she threw a pillow at me telling me to get the hell out of there, as well as telling me she hated me.

I called Esme and Carlisle hoping they would come over and try to talk with her. Carlisle reminded me that I should have talked to her long before now; I told him I knew that and I was kicking my self in the ass for not doing so.

It was over an hour before they showed up right along with Rose who I could tell was pissed at me. I just went into the study and just stared out the window, while they all went up to talk to Bella. It didn't surprise me when Bella started yelling and calling me names, right along with her calling me a liar.

I had no clue how I was going to fix this; all I knew was that I'd broken my own heart in the process. Why didn't I take heed in telling her about the wills? For someone who was supposedly so smart when it came to the affairs of the heart, I had no clue.

It would serve me right if she no longer wanted to live with me or have anything else to do with me. When Keagan woke up from her nap, I heard Rose get her before I even reached the bottom of the stairs.

I was just dragging my stupid ass around in a fog, I went and fixed soup, and sandwiches for everyone hoping that would take my mind off the hurt I saw in Bella's eyes as she ran from the room.

I took the food up sat it on the floor, knocked on the door and told them it was there and slowly left not wanting to see their faces. Hours later Carlisle finally came in to talk with me. He confirmed my worst fear Bella wanted to go and stay with them.

What was I going to do, how was I supposed to show her just what she means to me if she is living elsewhere? I blew it big time, I'd lost my Angel. I just nodded my head not wanting Carlisle to know just how close I was to breaking down.

I did break down when the front door closed and I was all alone. I cried and hit the wall a few times before I started drinking.

I just sat there drinking drink after drink after drink; I should say bottle after bottle was a better way of describing the actions. As I empted one bottle, I'd throw it against the fire place letting it shatter all over the floor I didn't care. As far as I was concern, my life was over.

Day turned into night and night turned into day and I was still in the same spot drinking. I'd lost all track of time. I couldn't tell you what day of the week it was or if it was night or day by the time on the clock.

The only thing I do remember is going to the bathroom from time to time or going down to the cellar to get another bottle. If the phone rang, I didn't pick it up in fact at some point I just unplugged it and then I shattered it too, by throwing it into the fireplace.

When I could finally start to smell myself I took a shower, I was numb all over. I no longer felt the effects of the alcohol and knew I was beyond drunk. After my shower, I found myself in my bed. I don't even remember climbing in, but it did feel good to lie down instead of sitting up.

I guess I finally fell asleep as I woke who knows how much time had passed as I slept. I still had no clue what day of the week it was or if it was night or day. I couldn't even tell you how long Bella had been gone. I didn't care I could die and I wouldn't care. She was my life, the air I breathed.

I went in search of another bottle I needed to make myself numb again as I felt it starting to wear off.

As I headed down the stairs, I ran into Edward and Emmett, they each grabbed an arm and carried me back upstairs and into my bedroom.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" they both questioned at the same time.

"I've lost her, what's there to live for," was my reply.

They laid into me giving me a riot act, which I've never seen before. It turns out I've been drinking myself and hiding away from the world for three weeks, they came over to see if I was still alive.

They cleaned up the mess I made. They told me how they've all been sticking up for me and telling Bella over and over again that my love for her has nothing to do with the stupid wills.

They did say so far Bella didn't seem to care one way or the other, and that broke what was left of my heart. I told Edward and Emmett to leave that I didn't want them around and I could take care of myself. They informed me not so gently that they were staying to make sure I didn't do anything else stupid.

Why can't they just leave me in peace?


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I was teasing one of my readers about this chapter and had her write what she thought my twisted mind would have Emmett say and I loved a part of what she thought, so I stole it for me here… **CentauRita **I love you girl….. On this note, I've got to say I love my beta also Maria I couldn't post my writings without you.**

**Chapter 21**

**Emmett's POV**

_I can't understand why I had to go, why not just send Eddie, I was having fun watching Keagan since Bella's just sits there staring out the window. Why do both Bella and Jasper have to be so stubborn and stupid, can't they both see what we see, they are made for each other._

_If he's just sitting around staring out some dumb window I'm kicking his ass. On second thought why didn't dad come himself if he's so God Damn worried about him, that he tells us not to even bother knocking or ringing the bell, 'just use the key' he told us a thousand times before we got out the door._

_That Mother F'er better just want to be by himself. I'm not in the mood for this shit. Damn Edward drives like a grandma. How a guy can own a hot car like this Jag and drive ten under the speed limit?! We should've just taken my jeep we would be there by now. I want to be home playing with my sweet niece._

_I never knew a baby could be so much fun. I need to talk Rose into getting my own baby to play with._

_Finally, we are here I'm stealing Eddie's keys and driving this bitch home._

"Eddie why are you walking like an old man?" I jump out of the car and sprinting to the door, "If this is as bad as dad thinks you need to get a move on it, and stop dilly-dallying around."

_Wonder if he's like this in bed, if so I understand why the pixie bitch is always in her bitchy moods. Damn this all, I can't take this any more._

I'd just gotten the door open when the smell hit me, it smelled like a distillery. I threw open the door the rest of the way and moved out like a man on a mission, that mission to find Jasper and kick his ass.

Everything was quiet and I knew there were only two places we would find him in his study or down in his wine/liquor cellar. I ran down to the study as I told Eddie to check the cellar.

Mother F'er, what has he done to this place? It looks like a tornado has been through here. Damn him where is he?

"Edward is he down there?" I yelled as I snapped some picture of the mess and sent them to dad.

"Nope," was Eddie boy's response damn he still is not acting like we're on a mission. What's up with him?

I sprinted up the stairs to check the master bedroom the only other room I could think he might be.

"My eyes, my eyes", I scream as the statue of David and the Crown Jewels are on display and in the flesh! My poor eyes will never be the same.

Eddie, pushes, pushes quickly past me to have a look. What he sees is a naked soaking wet Jasper laying on his back, past-out on the master bed, with everything on display in fine fashion even his family jewels.

Where, the hell did he come from? He's been acting like a grandma all day and he runs in here and pushes my ass on the floor, damn I'm going to kick his ass too.

"Damn even wet he still reeks like a distillery, how much has he drunk?"

"Em there is only wine left downstairs."

"You've got to be shitting me man, there was a couple hundred bottles of different types of whisky, bourbon, not to mention the vodka and rum."

"It's all gone."

"Shit no wonder, the study looks like a tornado and there is glass as well. The phone is smashed in front of the fireplace. Let's leave him and go clean up the study and air this place out, the smell is starting to make me sick." I turn and head back downstairs.

"He's lucky he doesn't have alcohol poisoning," Eddie mumbles as he follows me downstairs.

"I'll get the trash bags, broom, and dustpan; you go check out the mess." I tell Eddie boy as I head towards the kitchen and the cleaning closet.

After grabbing all that I need, I find Eddie boy just standing in the doorway like a statue.

"Are you going to stand there all day?" I push him into the room to get his started. What is up his ass today? I am just about at my limit with his sorry ass.

"Damn when you said it looked like a tornado, I didn't believe you. What's gotten into Jasper's head?"

"Hell if I know, but I'm kicking his ass when we wakes up."

I can't believe it took us four hours to clean that mess up; after we finish Eddie and I head on up to go check on the ass upstairs.

"Emmett will you stop calling me Eddie before I kick your ass."

"What's crawled up your ass and died today?"

'I'm not in the mood for this shit, I didn't want to come over here, but the look on mom's face when dad told us told me no arguing about coming over here. I would rather be home with Alice in our room."

"Damn Eddie I didn't need a picture of that in my mind."

"Stop calling me Eddie, you know I hate that name."

We were half way up the stairs when Jasper, still undressed had started down the stairs, _damn I don't need to be seeing his shit swinging like that._

"Eddie, grab his arm, and I'll grab his other let's set him straight."

Damn he didn't even blink or flinch once as we yelled and bitched at him as to how we found his place, cleaned it up, as well as informed him how we both have told Bella to get her head out of her ass and just feel the love. _What the hell is wrong with these two? Can't they see real love when it is right in front of them? They are wasting so much time and energy on this self-destruction stuff! I can't stand this f-ing drama anymore. I want to go home and make my own baby with Rose!_

My cell rang so I stepped out of the room, it was dad pissed at the pictures. I told him what Eddie boy found in the cellar and he said under no condition were we to leave this house. I turned and looked at Jasper, whom I could tell wasn't happy with having us here.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Once again I had help on this chapter as she saw it differently than I did. To me I only saw it through Bella's eyes and she saw it through Carlisle's. I feel that Carlisle enhances the story line so much I just had to use what she wrote. Love ya girl keep riding and KIK(Keep it Kinky)**

**C****hapter 22**

**Carlisle's POV**

Scrubbing my hand down my face, I let out a huge sigh as I walk into my study and take a seat behind my desk. The comfortable leather creaked a sigh of welcome, as I settled deep into its open arms.

As I wearily recline, I close my eyes thinking to myself 'Have I done the right thing?' as I question my motives for sending Emmett and Edward to check on Jasper. Not only was I worried; more importantly, Esme was worried and upset, too.

I don't think that Jasper and Bella realize that my loving wife has taken them into her heart and considers them as her adopted children. To see her 'children' hurting so, makes her extremely unhappy and when Esme is not content, it disrupts the harmony in our home and THAT, I will not tolerate...Esme is My life. Her happiness is my utmost concern and responsibility. So, I will take these children, in hand, to ease Esme's hurt and unhappy discontent.

My front pant pocket starts to jingle and vibrating; I have a message. Hopefully, it some news from the boys concerning, Jasper! I huff loudly to myself and pull my phone from my pocket to retrieve the message. As I look at the screen, I furrow my brow, causing my eyebrows to scrunch together. Confusion clouds my mind as I try to make heads or tails of what I'm looking at. Thinking it would help, I turn my phone upside down to help make more sense out of this...picture; if you can call it that. It appeared to be a...collage of items like you'd see on a table at a flea market, but...No, the angle of the items are all wrong...I think. I twist my phone, this way, and that, trying to see through the mess. That's what it was...a mess!

I was just starting to actually see individual items. I recognized the framed Civil War medal with its letter of authenticity that I remember getting Jasper for Christmas, last year, while I was at the Medical Convention in Atlanta. Jasper treasured it and proudly had it displayed in his study...now the frame was cracked, and the glass was broken lying on the floor.

Then, the picture started to take shape, and it dawned on me...this was a picture of Jasper's study. I could hardly recognize it. Angrily shaking my head from side to side, this is worse than Esme, or I could have ever thought! I had to call Emmett, immediately, maybe he can shine some light on what I am looking at. Emmett and I chat about the picture; he tells me there is more. More? I am only half-listening to Emmett...I catch snippets of what he's saying,

'Stench...cellar...empty bottles...only wine left...tornado...house...a total wreck...located...David...jewels...'

Huh? What?

David? Who's David?

I stopped Emmett, to tell him that we'll be coming over and thanked him and Edward for cleaning and trying to put some order back into the house. I told him to stay with Jasper until we got there.

First, I had to show the picture to Bella. Perhaps it would shock her enough seeing this destruction to show how much Jasper needs her...if just being separated for three weeks has caused this much devastation, I don't want this to continue. If this isn't enough to spur her into action, then the almost alcohol poisoning...just might do it! I was angered by the news about the cellar and the number of empty liquor bottles. Was the boy trying to poison himself? He definitely could have done that so easily. God must have a purpose for him. I can only hope, as I stride purposefully from the sanctity of my study to find Bella.

This. Must. Stop. Now! For Esme and our continued happiness, I must regain the peace and harmony of our home. I'm a man with a PhD on a mission!

**Bella's POV**

_Why can't I get out of this darkness? I hear all those that care about me talk to me, but it's like listening to a garbled recording. I don't understand a word they're saying. I know they all care about me, and I did this to myself by giving my heart to man who only wants me, so he doesn't lose what he currently has. _

_When we made love, it felt so different from anytime before, there had to be some feelings between us, but not love. If he really loved me, he would have told me this from the beginning._

_I've lost all track of time once again. I'm not sure, how long I've been staying with the Cullens at least I'm not as bad as I was last time. I eat at the table with everyone else walk from one room to another. It's more like my brain has stopped working._

_I hurt so bad, it feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest._

_At times, I hear Keagan laughing as she plays with Emmett and Rose._

_I feel their kisses when they kiss the top of my head as they try to talk to me. I've heard words like 'love, really cares' those are the only ones I've seem to make out. I know they all love me, but it's him, that I want and need to love me as much as I love him._

_I didn't even know for sure what I felt for him for the longest time, but as Rose helped me with my school work, we'd talk, and she would describe how she feels about Emmett. I learned that what I was feeling for him, was love in its purest form. I see the way Rose looks at Emmett, as well as they way he looks at her. Heck, I even see the way Carlisle and Esme look at each other, even Edward and Alice have that look in their eyes._

_Why can't they leave me alone and why does Carlisle look so upset? I know he sent Edward and Emmett somewhere a few hours ago._

"_Bella ….. look … he's… in….pain….. Get … car….. now."_

_He picked me up and carried me out to the car. What the hell! This was weird it was just Carlisle and I in the car, where was Esme? They never leave the house without each other. This can't be good._

_Somewhere along the drive I realized he was taking me to the house. I don't want to be at that house. I can't be in a house where I'm not really wanted other than to save his lifestyle._

_When he pulled up, I did my best to fight and stay in the car not wanting to go in there. Once again, He picked me up and carried me._

_He opened the door, and the smell makes me sick to my stomach I squirm out of his arms, and run to the bathroom and empty my stomach. What is that awful smell? Carlisle is standing just outside the bathroom when I come out, and he takes my arm and pulls me into the den. There I see the one person I don't want to see sitting on the couch with Edward on one side and Emmett on the other side. It looked like they were holding him in place. His head hanging down, shoulders slumped, as if in defeat. I gasped and he quickly raised his head to look towards the sound. Oh my, he didn't look at all like the man I remembered, at all, especially his face and skin; it had that sickly pasty pallor as if he was sick. He's sick? What could be wrong with him?_

"_Bella, look at this. He did this because he's hurting just as much as you. His love is true. Yes, he was a stupid ass and didn't explain things to you sooner, but you can't fault and shut down just because his head was stuck up his ass."_

_I shook my head as I heard each word Carlisle said. Could it be true he really does love me? I sank down to the ground and cried._


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: This story is coming to an end one more regular chapter than an Epilogue**

**Chapter 23**

**Carlisle's POV**

As Bella sunk down and started crying, something inside me snapped I could no longer sit and watch, my family fall apart just because these two have their heads up their asses.

"Bella, get your ass up off the floor sit down. You and Jasper are both going to listen to me and then you two are going to talk to each other," I said as she just sat there.

"Bella, I said to get your ass up off that floor," I reached down grabbed her and pulled her up and forced her into the chair facing the couch.

I watched as Jasper tried to get up and leave, the boys held him tighter, so he couldn't leave.

"I've sat around long enough and watched both of you for months. All you two do is dance around your feelings neither of you telling the other how you were feeling. As for you Jasper, we all told you if you didn't talk to Bella about the will months ago it would blow up in your face. See we were right; it blew up in your face. I thought bringing Bella to your house would make both of you want to talk this out not be self-destructive. Jasper you could have killed yourself with all that booze you drank. Bella you hid inside yourself again letting other people take care of your daughter, don't get me wrong we all love her and enjoy spending time with her. Emmett, keep your mouth shut and don't interrupt me." _Damn why is it, I can never say what's on my mind without someone interrupting me._ "Bella if you can't see that Jasper loves you with all his heart, then your blinder than a blind mole or the blind man on the corner of the street. Jasper if you would have listened and talked to her months ago when you realized how deeply you felt about Bella; we wouldn't be where we are right now. I wouldn't have to be yelling at those I love. Now I want you both to pull your heads out of your asses and talk to each other telling each other how you feel and how the past three weeks have made you feel."

I watched as they both just looked at each other neither of them wanting to speak. I saw Edward elbow Jasper in the ribs. "What the hell was that for?" Jasper said.

"To help get your head out of your ass, dad is right. I can't believe you won't fight for the woman you love, I never in my wildest dreams thought you would almost drink yourself to your death. What would have happened if Emmy and I didn't come over here today, would you have started in on your wine or go out and buy more whisky," Edward said in a tone I've never heard him use before, good he is as pissed as I am right now.

**Jasper's POV**

I knew in my heart that Carlisle and Edward were right; my head is up my ass, and I'm not sure I can get it unstuck. I sit there and look at Bella, and I can see that dark look in her eyes. Was she hurting as much as me because I was so stupid and didn't have the guts to talk to her months ago?

I'm an ass; can I win her back if I fight? Can I even fight for her? Questions upon questions ran through my brain so fast it hurt. I shock my head. Then I looked at Carlisle, who nodded.

"Bella, what can I do to make this right?"

"Jasper what sort of question is that?" Emmett asks.

"I don't know what to say or do. All I know is I love Bella and can't live without her. I know I screwed up big time not talking to her months ago, but how do I fix what I broke," I asked to anyone who could give me the answer.

"Jasper," Bella said so softly if the room hadn't been quiet I would not have heard.

I looked at her; she had tears running down her face, why the tears?

"Jasper," she said again this time a little louder

"Yes," I answered back.

"Do you really love me?"

"God, I love you more than anything on this earth; I would rather die than not have you in my life."

She just sat there crying. I was too scared to go to her, besides the guys still had a hold of me, so I couldn't get up and leave. Yup, if they weren't I think I would have run. I'm too scared to face the problems I created.

It seemed like a long time we just sat there looking at each other.

"Are you two just going to sit there and stare at each other all day?" Emmett said sounding frustrated.

"Let me go," I said pulling on my arms to get away, so I could go to her.

They both let go and I sort of fell off the couch as I wasn't prepared for them to let me go while I was struggling against them. Since I was down on the floor, I just crawled over to the chair Bella was sitting in.

"Bella, I'm so sorry I'm such a stupid ass and didn't listen and talk to you months ago about the stupid will Dad left everything to mom except if her death came before his, then it was left to me, and it stated I had to be married by my thirty-first birthday. Mom's said upon her death everything was to be turned over to me with the same stipulation as Dad's. I guess they thought I would always be a playboy of sorts, not like I really was a playboy it was all just talk. In high school and college, I did date a lot of different girls only because I was searching for the one. You see everyone around me had their one, and I wanted what they all had. I was beginning to think I'd never find her until you came into my life. I knew the moment we started talking at my diner, which, by the way, is mine and has nothing to do with my parents." I heard gasps, ops; the cat is out of the bag since nobody knew the diner was mine. "I was so scared I would do something wrong and make you want to leave here. I'd done reading on abuse as well as rape, and so many of them hate men for the rest of their lives. I didn't want you to hate me; I would have rather always been your friend than anything else. I would gladly lose all of this as well as the company just to have you as my friend. You truly make my world worth being in."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Part of me say Bella needs to say what's on her mind also, but she's not talking to me so I'm going to post this as written. I've also completed the Epilogue which I'll post next week sometime. I will do Chapter 24 in Bella's pov as an outtake once I can get her talking to me again.**

**Chapter 24 **

**Jasper's POV**

We talked for hours; it felt good to get everything out in the open. Telling her from the very beginning, I felt drawn to her. All I wanted from the beginning of all this was for her to fall in love with me.

I know her age is a problem only sixteen and I'm her legal guardian. The state would put me in jail if I married her. Yes, a legal guardian can sign consent for a sixteen year old to get married, but said guardian cannot be the person who is going to marry said sixteen year old.

I was thankful that Carlisle was still there listening to us talk and when we stopped and just stared at each other he would get us talking, again knowing there was more to be said. It was during one of these staring contest you could call it that Carlisle told us we could always see if the state would transfer guardianship over to them and then a few months later they could sign consent for us to marry.

That got us thinking. Yes, the state would want to make visits to ensure Bella was happy and safe, as they have done here a few times. Thankfully, never during that time in which Bella was in her dark place. So, in the end it was decided Bella would just move in with the Cullens while we worked this out with the state.

We would still see each other every day, if not we would talk on the phone. I really did need to get back to the office, and this would allow me to do so. There was so much that needed to be done before I turned thirty-one.

The guys helped Bella pack, took her stuff over to the Cullens, then they left her here with me so we could truly make up for being so stupid and having our heads up our asses. I hope I never do such stupid shit again.

We worked together to cook dinner, eat, clean up, then went upstairs to spend quite time together.

We ended up taking a bubble bath, something I never thought I'd ever do. It was very relaxing, and nice to have Bella so close. By the end of the bath, I knew I would do this again anytime she asked. I love the feel of Bella in my arms, it feels so right. This is the place she belongs and I will do everything in my power to make sure she stays there.

It took the courts six weeks to decide Bella was better off with the Cullens, and during this time we found out that first night we had made love, one that will always be forever engraved in my brain, as the sweetest night of my life, we made a baby. We hid this fact from the courts, as I would surely be thrown in jail.

Our plan was now to get married on the first of December, just twenty days before I turn thirty-one. It would be a small private ceremony just the Cullens and Garrett would be there. He was pleased to hear everything was in line so he wouldn't have to put the company or the house up for sale. He really did feel bad that he hadn't talked my parents out of putting that stupid clause in their wills.

I was so looking forward to starting a new life with my Angel; she saved me in so many ways. She says it's the other way around that I'm her Angel for saving her from the life she been living. Ok, so we saved each other. Whatever it was that brought us together I'll forever be thankful.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: I still haven't started on the outtake of Bella for chapter 23/24. You see Bella isn't talking to me, so if any of you readers think you have Bella talking in your head share your thoughts with me sometimes it help to click on the character in my brain. I'll not mark this story complete until that outtake is up, but technically this is the last chapter.**

**Chapter 25: Epilogue**

**Jasper's POV **

We sat in the dinner eating my birthday day dinner; we were all there my whole family Bella, Keagan, JR, Bethany and Carl. We always went to the dinner since that is where my life really started ten years ago. Later, we would meet up with our extended family for cake and ice cream, but this day is always our special time; it had been since the first dinner Bella, and I shared ten years before.

When we found out Bella was carrying our son. we argued for months on what we would name him in the end my angel won out with the promise I get to name the next boy. So, my first born is Jasper Walker Whitlock, Jr.

We added the twins five years later after Bella graduated from college with her degree in literature, as well as, her teaching certificate. She teaches only as a sub because she loves being at home, taking care of every little thing. I can't believe she fired the cleaning lady saying it's her job to take care of our home as well as the family.

I just couldn't name my second son Carlisle because to me; it was already confusing having a child named after myself. So I picked the name Carl in honor of him, as I knew I won't be this happy if he hadn't been so stern and making me get my head out of my ass that summer, which just seems like a far away nightmare these days.

As I look across at Bella, I still see this scared skinny girl, who blossomed into a beautiful woman, one who is the angel who saved me from a lonely life, one who gave my life meaning.

I guess my thinking about the past made me look funny, because I'm brought back to the here and now by little Bethany saying, "Daddy why you look so funny?"

"Because I was remembering the first time I saw your mommy, it was such a different time."

"Mommy says you've always loved her and will forever like in the stories. She reads me." I chuckled at that only a four-year-old would say something so sweet, because they don't understand how the world around them really works just yet.

"Don't laugh daddy, it is true mommy says you've always loved her."

I smiled at Bethany, and told her, "Yes, from the moment I saw her, I knew she was the one I wanted to spend forever with."

"Daddy will I find my prince?"

That one made me cringe; I couldn't picture either of my girls even thinking about boys just yet. I knew I only had a few years left before nine-year-old Keagan started liking boys. Thankfully, right now she says they have cooties.

I had to answer her as honest as I could be, "Yes one day when you're much older like thirty you will find your prince."

"Dad, really thirty, mom says I can start dating when I'm sixteen, and that's only seven years away." Keagan pipes in I hadn't even realized she had been listening to Bethany and me.

"Oh, does she now," I said looking at my wife, my other half, the one whom completes me.

"We've talked about this before that the girls can date when they are sixteen, you're not going to back out of that deal, after all I was sixteen when we met," Bella responded with a little giggle, sounding more like a teenager than a mother of four does.

"Let's not think of the future right now; I want to enjoy my birthday dinner with my family; I don't like the idea of my baby girls liking boys."

"Daddy, I'm no baby," Bethany replied with sass as she threw her napkin at me.

"Bethany, that is no way to act," I scolded.

"Daddy, but I'm not a baby, next year I get to go to school!" She is almost in tears.

"You may not be baby, but in my mind you will always be my baby." I am hoping this will stop the tears, and then I add for good measure, "I know you're growing up to be a beautiful young lady, and I just don't want you to grow up to fast."

I love my family, I reached over and picked Bethany out of her booster seat and sat her on my lap holding her close to me. I smelled her hair, which reminds me of her mother. Where Keagan is the younger version of Bella, Bethany took the best of both of us, having my nose and blue eyes, but Bella facial shape and hair color.

We finished dinner and drove over to the Cullens; all the children refer to them as Grammy and Poppy. Keagan started the poppy bit, and it's stuck no matter how hard Carlisle fought it from the start.

It's always a house full during the holidays, with Emmett and Rose's three kids, Edward and Alice's two kids; their third is on the way. It's a lot of fun to see all the kids play together; it reminds of my childhood playing with Emmett and Edward when our families got together.

I still can't believe I'm forty years-old today, ten years ago I didn't think I would ever be this happy.

I was pleased when Esme asked if the kids could stay the night giving Bella and I some alone time, which truly doesn't happen as much as either of us would like. We held hands on the way home not saying a word just enjoying the closeness we felt just with that simple touch of the hands.

I pulled into the garage, jumped out met Bella at the front of the SUV; I couldn't be away from her for a moment more; I pulled her close to me, kissed her, showing just how much I love and need her.

As I deepened the kiss, I felt myself growing hard; I pulled my angel closer to me, to let her feel what she does to me. This caused her to moan into my mouth. I needed to touch her right now, so I slid a hand down her back over her ass and slowly raised her dress. I was shocked when I found that she had no panties on.

I pulled away from the kiss looked into her eyes, to see the mischievous grin on her face. I then picked her up and sat her on the hood of the SUV; this put her at the perfect height for me to drink in her sweet juices. I bent over ran my tongue up, one thigh and then the other before I settled into her sweet pussy.

I've never tasted anything so sweet in my life, and I'll never get enough of her sweetness. I was now straining hard against my slacks, as I licked and teased her clit. I inserted two fingers, damn she was so wet.

"Take me and let's make a baby," I heard my lovely wife say in a husky voice, which told me she was close.

I pulled away from her unzipped my pants pushed her up further onto the hood, climbed up and pushed into her sweetness. I was a man on a mission; I wanted to make another baby grow inside the love of my life my angel.


End file.
